


The Heiress

by ashleighbrii



Series: The Heiress Series [1]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2019-06-18 03:13:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15476406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleighbrii/pseuds/ashleighbrii
Summary: When Upper East Side heiress, Madeline Campbell is attacked and raped in the courtyard of her building, it sends the Barba and the SVU detectives into a whirlwind investigation. When the investigation takes an unexpected turn for Maddie, she is forced to come to terms with the fact that her life doesn't stand a chance from ever coming back from what happened to her. What happens when she finds out who is responsible for her attack? Is her relationship with Amanda Rollins going to be effected, or will the two of them find a way to make things work?





	1. Traumatic Aftermath

“Female victim, blonde, twenty-nine years old. She was found barely conscious at five this morning when the doormen of her building were switching shifts. She was almost hypothermic when the medics got there. We’ve got her body temperature almost back to normal, but it’s clear when we did a full exam that she was raped a few hours before she was found. That’s why we called you.” Doctor Wilder explained as she lead detectives Amanda Rollins and Sonny Carisi through the halls.

Carisi stopped in front of the door, running his hand over his mouth. “Is she awake? Do we know anything about her?”

Doctor Wilder gave a weary look to the two detectives. “She’s awake, but we haven’t been able to get much more information out of her than that. We finished her rape kit about half an hour ago and she’s taken medication to prevent pregnancy, she should be ready to talk soon.”

“Thank you, Doctor Wilder.” Carisi smiled and opened the door, stepping aside to let Amanda in the room first. 

When the girl heard the door open, she didn’t move at first. She was lying on her side, curled into a ball with her hands clutched close to her chest.

“Sweetie? I'm Detective Rollins and this is Detective Carisi, we're from SVU. We just need to ask you a few questions if you're up for talking.” Amanda spoke softly as she moved forward.

The girl in the bed shifted, blue eyes bloodshot and filled with tears. "Amanda?" She sat up a little as she spoke. 

"Maddie?" The detective immediately rushed to her side. "Who did this to you?" She asked, resting a gentle hand on Maddie's bruised cheek. 

Maddie shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut as tears spilled down her cheeks. "I don't know… I couldn't see their face." She whimpered. 

"Uhhh… Rollins?" Carisi cleared his throat. "You know her?" 

Amanda turned to look at Carisi and nodded. "Yeah, this is Maddie… we've been dating for a few months now." She smiled, turning back to Maddie.

"Should I call Lieu and Barba?" He asked, and Amanda nodded.

"I doubt Liv is gonna let me anywhere near this case as a detective." She sighed, taking a seat on the edge of Maddie's bed.

Carisi nodded, walking towards the end of the bed. "Alright, Maddie… what were you doing right before you were attacked?" He asked. 

"My brother was throwing a party. One of those parties that you really only throw because you have money y'know? I was so miserable and bored, so when I got a text from my friends asking if I wanted to grab a late dinner at Via Della in the East Village I was so happy to get out of there." Maddie explained, looking up at Carisi.

The detective nodded. "Do you have your phone on you?" He asked.

Maddie shook her head. "I think the doctors took it when they brought me in. It was in the pocket of my jacket."

Carisi nodded and sat down in the chair next to the bed. "So, what happened next, Maddie?" He asked.

"They told me that they were going to pick me up, so I changed and went outside to meet them. I was waiting in the courtyard for them to tell me they were there when I was hit on the head from behind. I hit the ground on my hands, but I couldn't see straight. I remember being dragged out of view of the street because it got really dark… and that was when he started to take off my pants. He had a hand around my throat, so I couldn't scream or breathe really… and then I could feel him inside me, it hurt… I tried to push him off, but I couldn't breathe. He kept hitting me, every time I tried to push him away. I blacked out after that…" She paused, wiping at her eyes. "The next thing I remember was waking up in the ambulance."

Carisi nodded and wrote everything down as she spoke. "Alright… does your building have security cameras?" He asked.

Maddie nodded. "Yeah, they cover pretty much the whole street and the lobby. There's one in each elevator too."

"Okay. We're gonna do our best to get to the bottom of this okay?" Carisi gave her a smile. 

Returning the smile, Maddie laid back in her bed and looked up at Amanda. "I'm sorry I didn't have someone call you, I didn't know… I didn't know if you'd want to be here…" She apologized. 

Before she could answer, her phone was ringing. A FaceTime call from Olivia. 

"It's okay, baby. Just get some rest alright? We'll be back to check on you later." She smiled softly and kissed her forehead, heading out of the room with Carisi. 

Answering the call, Amanda held up her phone. "Hey Liv… what's up?" She asked as they headed to a quieter place in the hospital. 

"Well… I just got off a call from Dodds. The victim is Madeline Campbell, heiress to Campbell Worldwide Media… her brother found out about her attack on the news and is on his way down here now. What has she told you?" She asked, dropping her glasses onto what the detectives assumed was a pile of paperwork. 

"Liv actually there's something I need to tell you. You know how I've been seeing someone the past few months? Well… it's Maddie. And I know you'll probably want to bench me, which I understand, but I wanted you to know." 

Olivia nodded. "Thank you, for telling me Amanda. For now, we'll keep you on the case, but if you take this personally, we'll have to re-evaluate. Got it?" 

"Copy that, Lieutenant." Amanda nodded. 

"Good. So, how is she?" Olivia asked, looking at her detectives.

Carisi drew a breath before answering. "She's got bandaged cuts on both of her hands, a hand shaped bruise around her throat, Doctor Wilder said she has a gash on the back of her head they had to stitch up which lines up with what she told us. To be honest Lieu, there are probably more bruises we can't see. From what she told us, whoever it was, was rough with her." 

"There's another thing too, she said she got a text from her friends, but the doorman was the one who found her this morning… we need to figure that out." Amanda added. 

"I agree. I'll have Fin look into that, but I want you two here with Barba and I when Daniel arrives. Make sure you get her phone, so we can have TARU look into it as well." Olivia nodded. 

"Alright, we're on our way back now. We shouldn't be too long." Carisi concluded before Amanda hung up the phone.

As she put her phone away, she leaned against the wall, letting out a breath. 

"Rollins?" Carisi asked, standing in front of her.

Amanda shook her head. "I was supposed to take her out last night, but we had to finish up the Klein case. If we hadn't…" She trailed off.

The taller detective shook his head. "No, hey don't do that to yourself. It's clear that Maddie doesn't blame you, and that she was happy to see you after what happened to her."

Amanda looked up at the ceiling before looking to her partner. "Yeah, but I doubt Daniel will feel that way." 

******

When they arrived at the precinct, the two detectives dropped their coats at their respective desks before making their way into Olivia's office. "Lieutenant. Counsellor." Carisi greeted as they stood to the side of Olivia's desk.

"Amanda, I'm sure you know Daniel and his fiancé Emily." Olivia smiled, gesturing to the two sitting across from her. "This is Detective Carisi." Olivia gestured to him.

Daniel got up from his chair and wrapped his arms around Amanda. "How are you holding up?" He asked. "Have you seen her? How is she?" He pulled back to look at her.

"She's awake, she told us what happened. She has a bruise on her throat and cuts on her hands, but for now she's doing alright." Amanda nodded, giving him a small smile. 

Daniel nodded and sat back down. "So, what happens now?" He asked Olivia.

"Now we try and figure out who attacked her, who would have had motive or the opportunity. And we will need statements from you and Emily on where you were during the time of the attack on your sister." The Lieutenant explained. 

Daniel's gaze hardened as soon as the words hit his ears. "You think that one of us had something to do with what happened to Maddie?! Are you people insane?!" He demanded, standing from his chair.

"Mr. Campbell it's procedure that we get a timeline, so we can get whoever hurt your sister." Barba stepped in, holding up his hands.

Grabbing Emily's arm, hard enough to make her wince, he stood her up and turned her towards the door. "We're leaving. And if you plan on going anywhere near my sister it is with my permission, I am her lawyer and the only family she has left."  

With that, the two headed out of the squad room, leaving the detective and the ADA in stunned silence. 

"It doesn't work like that, does it Counsellor? Doesn't Maddie get a say in who her lawyer is throughout the case?" Amanda moved to sit across from Olivia. 

Barba nodded. "I'll be representing her. There's a good chance he's the Corporate Lawyer for the company, but he isn't her personal legal counsel."

Amanda leaned forward in her chair and covered her mouth with both her hands, staring at Olivia's name plaque.

Olivia shared a look with Carisi who nodded. "Rollins, why don't I drop you off at the hospital? There isn't much more we can do until Maddie's discharged anyways." 

Amanda looked up at her partner and nodded. "What are we going to do about Daniel?" She asked as she rose from the chair. 

"For now, I want to keep him away from Maddie. I think he'll do his best to make this go away to protect his image. And his company's image." Barba looked at Olivia. 

"I agree. We'll come by before the end of shift to talk to her about what's going to happen." Olivia agreed.

"Actually, it's her company," Amanda pointed out. When the room remained silent, she continued. "Maddie's mom was her dad's second wife. They started the company and named Maddie the CEO should anything happen to the two of them. She went to business school, all of it. But when her mom was killed in that car accident, Daniel took over since Maddie was in school still." 

"And he hasn't let her take over or anything?" Olivia asked, leaning back in her chair.

Amanda shook her head. "I asked her why, but the answer she gave me definitely wasn't the truth. She told me that he wanted to make sure she was really ready to take over. The company, the apartment, everything is in Maddie's name, but…"

"But Daniel is the one who's out in the spotlight." Barba leaned against Olivia's desk. "He wants to control what his father wouldn't let him have." 

"You don't think he would've done this do you?" Carisi asked. 

All of them shared an unsure look. "Well there's only one way to find out."

******  

Back at the hospital, Maddie was sleeping fitfully when Amanda arrived. She was grateful Daniel wasn't there and even more grateful that Maddie was asleep. 

Sitting next to the bed, Amanda carefully took one of her hands and sighed. "I'm so sorry this happened to you Maddie. If I hadn't been caught up in a case maybe this wouldn't have happened." 

Resting her head near Maddie's legs, the blonde let out a sigh. "I'm sorry that I couldn't keep you safe." She apologized again. 

After a few moments of silence, Maddie started to move in her sleep, her face contorted in pain. "No… no stop…" She mumbled. 

"Maddie?" Amanda sat up, moving some hair back from the younger's face.

"NO!" She screamed, bolting up in bed, fresh tears streaming down her cheeks.

Amanda jumped up from her chair, carefully taking Maddie's face in her hands. "Baby, I'm here. Breathe. You're safe now, no one can hurt you." Amanda assured her. 

Maddie's wide blue eyes were bloodshot and filled with tears as she tried to register where she was. 

"I don't want to be here anymore, 'Manda…" She mumbled quietly.

Amanda nodded in understanding. "Okay. Well, I can take you back to your apartment once they discharge you." She offered. 

As if on cue, Daniel burst through the door, followed by Emily. "Maddie." He walked over to the opposite side of the bed.

"Get dressed. We're going home and you're doing a press conference about what happened." He dropped a bag of clothes on the end of the bed. 

Maddie shook her head. "No, I'm not going back there." She shook her head vigorously. "And I'm not doing a press conference. I haven't even had time to…" She started before Daniel cut in. 

"We have an image to protect, Maddie. You were probably drunk, it's okay. Maybe you don't remember saying yes." He suggested.

Amanda took that moment to step in. "Daniel, she hasn't even had time to process what happened to her. Maybe we should wait a little while, until she talks to my Lieutenant and our ADA." She countered. “I’m going to take her back to my apartment for the night, so she can get some sleep.” The detective was lying through her teeth, but there was no way he needed to know that.

"Daniel she's right. Maddie was attacked last night, there's no way she's going to be ready to talk about it yet." Emily pointed out, earning a stern look from Daniel. 

Maddie shifted closer to Amanda, who put an arm protectively around her waist. "Please Daniel… I don't want to go back there." 

Daniel clenched his hands into fists, his face turning red before he burst into an angry tirade. "Maddie, why do you always insist on damaging the reputation our parents built for us and for the company? Why is it always you who has to cause a scene any time you're given the chance? Your mother would always defend you to dad, making sure her precious daughter got whatever she needed, and dad never bat an eye at it." He scoffed. "You probably had sex, cheating on your girlfriend here and then cried rape when you realized it would become public."

Amanda's jaw just about hit the floor as she listened to him. Never once had she had the thought that Maddie would cheat on her. "Daniel, I think you should go." She instructed, gesturing towards the door. 

"I'm not leaving without my sister. I am her lawyer and her guardian." He repeated his point from earlier.

"You're a corporate lawyer, and I'm twenty-seven, I don't need a guardian." Maddie pointed out quietly.

Daniel looked like he was about to say something else when Emily put her hand on his arm. "My mother is outside to take us to lunch and talk about the wedding."

Nodding once, Daniel made a move to hug Maddie, who just curled further into Amanda's arms. "Just go, Daniel…" She mumbled.

Muttering something incoherent under his breath, he took Emily's hand and left the room.

Amanda slowly loosened her grip on Maddie, pulling her phone out of her pocket. "I'm gonna call Liv, okay?" She ran a hand through Maddie's curls.

Nodding, she curled back up into the bed, staring at her bandaged hands. She could feel the stitches under the bandages that were holding the gashes together.

"Hey, Liv. Yeah, I'm here with Maddie but Daniel showed up after I did. He tried to get Maddie to leave." She looked back over to Maddie who was still staring intently at her hands. "Liv he said that she wanted this, that she's constantly in the news making a scene and ruining her parents' legacy. He's got more of a hold on her than I thought."

Olivia leaned back in her chair, her eyes trailing over to the ADA across from her. Scribbling down the information Amanda had given her and slid the notepad towards him.

"Okay, so what do you want to do from here Amanda?" She asked.

"When they discharge her, I want to take her back to my place. I got a better door, a new lock… she'll be safe with me, Liv." She smiled when Maddie turned her attention back to Amanda. 

Olivia scribble down the second set of information and held it up for Barba to read. 

Barba waved his hand, reaching for Olivia's phone. "Rollins? Let me get ahold of McCoy and see what he says okay? He should be okay with it, but until then, bring her to the station. She'll be safest with a hundred cops around."

Amanda nodded. "Alright, I'll bring her to the station, but if Daniel come back…"

"We'll make sure she stays in Liv's office okay? I promise she's going to be safe here until we figure out our next steps." He assured her.

"Alright. Thank you Counsellor. We'll be back soon." She hung up and slid her phone back in her pocket before turning to Maddie.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

Amanda grabbed the bag of clothes that Daniel brought and searched through it. It was a surprisingly cold October, so she was glad that he packed jeans and a sweater for her. "We're going back to the precinct. Our ADA is going to make sure that you can come stay with me, so you don't have to go back home until you're ready. I'm just going to find Doctor Wilder."

Maddie nodded as Amanda left the room, picking at the edge of her bandages.

When Amanda returned, the doctor just behind her, Maddie dropped her hands back to her lap. "Hey Maddie. How's your head feeling now sweetie?" She asked as she set the discharge papers down on the table in front of her.

"It's okay, my headache's gone. It's just my hands that are bothering me now." She sighed, holding her hands face up.

Doctor Wilder nodded. "Alright, well what we can do is remove the bandages for now, but I want you to put some on before you go to sleep to prevent them from catching and pulling out. How's that sound?" She suggested. 

Maddie nodded slowly in agreement as Doctor Wilder started to carefully pull back the bandages. 

Amanda, who'd started to fill out the paperwork, looked up when she heard Maddie hiss in pain. 

"It's almost over Maddie, I promise." Doctor Wilder gave her an apologetic smile.

Once the bandages were off, Amanda was able to see the full damage done to her hands. "Oh baby… I'm so sorry." She apologized softly as she held out the discharge papers.

"I'll drop these off at the desk, and you two are good to go. Maddie if your head starts to hurt take two Tylenol, and if you faint or get blurry vision, come back immediately okay?" 

Maddie nodded and gave a small smile. "Thank you, Doctor Wilder." 

******  

Once Maddie was dressed and Amanda had called Fin to pick them up, the two headed outside. 

"Here." Amanda pulled her jacket off and wrapped it around Maddie's shoulders.

Maddie smiled softly, leaning into Amanda's side as they walked to the car. "I'm sorry to inconvenience you, Detective Tutuola." She apologized quietly.

Fin shook his head with a smile, placing his hand on her shoulder. "It's nothing Maddie. Now come on or Amanda here is gonna freeze her ass off, you must know how she gets when she's cold." He smirked, nudging Amanda with his elbow.

Sliding into the back of the car, Maddie laughed softly. "It's the Georgian blood." She pointed out.

"Why are y'all making fun of me when I'm right here?" Amanda asked as she sat next to Maddie.

Maddie just shook her head with a smile as she leaned against her girlfriend, closing her eyes as they headed down the busy Manhattan streets.

“Darlin’ we’re here.” Amanda whispered as they pulled up in front of the precinct.

Sitting up, Maddie looked down at her hands, examining the stitches as if they were just going to disappear if she tried hard enough. “Okay.” She nodded, climbing out of the car after Amanda.

The squad room fell eerily silent as the three rounded the corner, everyone seemed to be staring at Maddie, who felt like she had a neon sign hanging over her head in that moment. 

“Alright, back to work everyone.” Fin called out, watching the cops spur back to life. 

Moving through the bullpen, Amanda led Maddie towards Olivia’s office, knocking quickly before opening the door. “Lieutenant. Counsellor. This is Maddie Campbell.” She gestured to the blonde standing quietly next to her.

Olivia gave her a sympathetic smile, moving towards her. “We’re going to figure out who did this to you okay? I can assure you we will do everything in our power to help you.”

Maddie just nodded, holding her hand out for Olivia to shake before her eye caught her stitches. “Thank you, Lieutenant Benson.”

Sitting down on the couch next to Olivia, Maddie went over the events of the previous night as best as she could like she had for Amanda and Carisi earlier.

They had barely started when there was more commotion in the bullpen. “I know she’s here! Where the hell is my sister?!” Daniel’s voice sounded like it was right next to her as she practically jumped out of her skin.


	2. Admit What You Can't Deny

“You!” He demanded, moving towards Amanda before Fin stepped in front of her. “You said that you were taking her back to your apartment but she’s here?!”

“How would you even know that?” Amanda asked, forcing herself not to look into Olivia’s office. 

Daniel rolled his eyes. “After what happened to her, I tracked her phone with software the company developed years ago.”

Olivia looked at Maddie who had curled up on the couch, her hands covering her ears as tears fell down her cheeks. “I’m going to get him to leave okay? Just stay here.” She looked at Barba as she stood. “Stay with her, please?”

Before waiting for a response, she left the room, looking at Daniel and her detectives. “Mr. Campbell, I can assure you that Maddie is not here. We had an officer drop her off at Detective Rollins’ apartment, her phone is here so we can gather evidence and see who attacked her.”

Barba had moved to sit with Maddie at this point, trying his best to make sure that she stayed calm. He knew what panic attacks could be like, but he didn’t know what hers would be like. “It’s going to be okay, Liv is going to make sure that he leaves.” He assured the younger.

Maddie's face paled as she looked at Barba. "He's gonna make me leave. If he finds out I'm here, I'm gonna have to go, I don't want to go with him." She shook her head vigorously, moving to the opposite end of the couch.

"Hey, Maddie. Look at me." Barba spoke gently as he got up from the couch, moving to crouch in front of her. "I promise you that you will not have to go anywhere you don't want to go. I will talk to the DA and make sure of that okay?" 

Maddie nodded slowly, closing her eyes to try and drown out the sounds of Daniel's voice.

"Mr. Campbell if you aren't going to stop yelling, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Olivia told him, a bit more forcefully this time.

Daniel rolled his eyes once again. "If I find out something is going on around here, I will have all of your badges. Every. Single. One." He pointed to the detectives to emphasize his point.

"We get that a lot, pal." Fin called after him as he waved two officers to follow him.

Once the bullpen was silent again, Olivia went back into her office, finding Maddie and Barba facing each other trying to calm Maddie down.

"I'm sorry, Maddie." Olivia apologized as she sat back ok the couch. 

Maddie shook her head. "I should be apologizing to you. I should have known he'd track my phone. I just didn't think he'd show up here." She admitted, wincing when she caught one of her stitches as she rubbed her hand.

"Maddie, you told Amanda that you got a text from your friends inviting you to dinner. Did you hear from them after that?" Olivia asked. "Do you think that it could have been a set up?"

Panic flashed in the younger's eyes. "You mean do I think that someone got me out of the party to attack me in the courtyard? Why would someone do that?"

"That's what we're going to try and find out." Olivia shared a look with Barba. This was going to be a long case.

******

It had been a few hours of looking through security cameras, waiting for TARU to finish examining Maddie's phone.

By the time they had gotten her phone back, Maddie was curled up on the couch in the interview room, fast asleep. Olivia had managed to get in contact with her friends and see what had happened.

"Maddie?" Her friend Maya's voice registered in her ears as she let out a hum, rolling over to wake up. "Mads, wake up… we're all here." She smiled softly. 

Sitting up, Maddie yawned, noticing Amanda's jacket was still draped over her. "Maya? What are you guys doing here?" She asked. 

"Lieutenant Benson called us here a while ago to talk to us about what happened." Tyler sat down at the table, Becca and Kyle sitting next to him. "She wanted us to wait in here while she talked to you." 

Knocking on the door, Olivia poked her head in with a soft smile. "Maddie, we need to talk."

Standing up, Maddie followed the Lieutenant into her office, her heart sinking with every step. "What's going on?"

"After reaching out to your friends and asking them when they had sent you the text; they all showed me that none of them had sent it. So, we had our techs trace where it came from. It was sent through an online server that bounced us around the globe before we were able to unblock it." Olivia's face fell as she continued. "The signal came from inside your apartment building. Someone set you up." 

As the news was delivered, Maddie felt like the air was knocked out of her lungs. Her legs had nearly given out under her, but Olivia managed to catch her, helping her sit down. "I… who… who would do this?"

"We're going to figure that out okay? I promise." Olivia knelt in front of her. "Your friends were really worried about you, when I called them they were here faster than I've seen in a long time." She looked into the interview room at Maddie's friends and Amanda talking, seemingly trying to make sense of what had happened to Maddie.

"And Amanda," Olivia began, turning back to Maddie. "She's had a hard road, but these past few months I've never seen her happier, and now I know why. Maddie you have people who are going to help you get through this and as long as you have Amanda, you have us as well." She knew that no words would bring her any kind of comfort, but sometimes just hearing the words could help a little.

Maddie nodded, her mind still racing at the prospect that someone could set her up. "I'm lucky. We've been friends since high school and I don't know what I would do without them. And Amanda is… amazing. I just… I see how big a toll this job can take, and I don't want her to go through that, especially for me." 

Olivia simply shook her head, leaning against her desk. "Trust me, she's more worried about you than anything."

Maddie nodded again, slower this time. "So… you said the signal came from my building, did it say where?" She asked quietly.

"It did." All of the sudden Olivia was unsure of what to do next. 

Maddie didn't say anything, simply looking up at Olivia with an expectant look.

When Olivia remained silent in return, Maddie's face fell. "No…" She shook her head. "No, no it didn't. Who? I… no, no, no!" She shook her head, getting up from her chair and walking towards the one-way mirror by the room her friends were in. 

"Maddie. Maddie listen to me, we're going to figure it out okay? But we need your help." Olivia made no moves to go towards her afraid of what would happen.

Shaking her head, Maddie slid down the wall. "I can't. I don't want to know. I don't… I don't want to be here anymore."

"I know, Maddie and I promise Ananda will take you to her apartment soon, I just need you to give me a list of names of everyone who was at the party. Do you think you can do that for me?" She asked, slowly crossing the room with a notepad and pen.

 _The sooner you do this, the sooner you can leave._ She told herself and nodded. Taking the outstretched notepad.

Scribbling down the names, she looked up when she heard a knock on the door. Amanda poked her head in after a moment. "Hey darlin' someone's here to see you." Not even a second later, Jesse Rollins came running through the door, her little legs carrying her as fast as she could across the room.

"Maddie! Maddie!" The almost two-year-old giggled, throwing her tiny body into Maddie's lap.

Maddie laughed softly, holding Jesse close to her. "Hey little Jay! How are you sweet girl?" Maddie asked, kissing the top of her head. 

She had always loved kids, and the fact that Jesse was a year old when her and Amanda met hadn't deterred her from pursuing a relationship. "Good!" She grinned. "Home now?" She asked, her innocent eyes looking up at Maddie. 

"Yeah little Jay. We're going home now." She nodded and stood up, balancing the notepad and Jesse in her arms. "Here's the list of people who were at the party that I remember. If I remember anyone else I'll write them down." She smiled a little, holding the paper out to Olivia.

Smiling, the Lieutenant took the paper. "Get some rest, we'll call if we find anything." 

******

She didn't think that she'd feel safe anywhere but the precinct, however curled up in Amanda's arms Maddie felt a wave of calm wash over her. "I'm sorry I didn't have them get ahold of you this morning. I didn't want to worry you, I should have known that you would end up working the case."

Amanda just shook her head, laying a kiss on Maddie's temple. "Darlin' you can't think like that. I know you would've gotten ahold of me if you could have. But you're here now. With me and Jesse and I promise we aren't gonna let you down." 

Maddie smiled softly. "Amanda Rollins, you could never let me down." 

The two remained lazing in bed, talking about anything under the sun that wasn't about Maddie's attack until Jesse started to cry from the other room.

Amanda made a move to get up, but Maddie put a hand on her arm. "May I?" She asked, not wanting to overstep.

Smiling, the elder blonde nodded. "Of course."

Getting up, Maddie headed into Jesse's room. "Hey sweet girl. What's the matter huh? Bad dream?" She asked, lifting the girl from her cot.

Jesse nodded, her little blue eyes rimmed red from tears. "Scary…" She mumbled.

"I know. Bad dreams can be really scary huh?" Maddie brushed some hair from Jesse's face. "How about I sing to you like my mommy used to sing to me?" She asked.

Jesse nodded quickly, resting her head against Maddie's shoulder as they sat in the plush chair in the corner of the room. 

"Alright I'm not the greatest singer so bear with me sweet girl." She smiled, kissing Jesse's head.

 _I found myself dreaming  
_ _In silver and gold  
_ _Like a scene from a movie  
_ _That every broken heart knows_

_We were walking on moonlight  
_ _And you pulled me close  
_ _Split second and you disappeared  
_ _And then I was all alone_

_I_ _woke up in tears  
_ _With you by my side  
_ _A breath of relief  
_ _And I realized  
_ _No, we're not promised tomorrow_

_So, I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you  
__And I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye  
__Wherever we're standing  
__I won't take you for granted  
__'Cause we'll never know when, when we'll run out of time  
__So, I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you  
__I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you_  

At this point, Amanda had come looking for Maddie, smiling when she saw them curled up together in the chair.

Maddie looked up when she saw movement and smiled to Amanda. Waving her over, Maddie slid over carefully enough to make room for her.

 _In the blink of an eye  
_ _Just a whisper of smoke  
_ _You could lose everything  
_ _The truth is you never know_

_So, I'll kiss you longer baby  
_ _Any chance that I get  
_ _I'll make the most of the minutes  
_ _And love with no regrets_

_Let's take our time to say what we want  
_ _Here's what we got before it's all gone  
_ _'Cause no, we're not promised tomorrow_

 _So, I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you  
_ _I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye  
_ _Wherever we're standing  
_ _I won't take you for granted  
_ _'Cause we'll never know when, when we'll run out of time_

_So, I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you  
_ _I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you  
_ _I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you  
_ _I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye_

_Wherever we're standing  
__I won't take you for granted  
__'Cause we'll never know when, when we'll run out of time  
__So, I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you  
__I’m gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you_  

When Maddie finished the song, she looked down at a now sleeping Jesse and smiled. "Sleep well little Jay." She whispered and placed her back in her bed. 

"Maddie, I…" Amanda started as the younger woman turned to look at her.

"I'm sorry, if I overstepped. But I know when I was little my mom used to sing me lullabies and I thought that it would help her go back to sleep." Maddie rambled a quick apology.

Amanda's eyes had filled with tears, a smile crossing her lips as she looked to her girlfriend. "Baby, I'm not upset. I'm so far from upset." She assured her as they headed back to the room. "When Jesse was born, I figured I'd be raising her alone, and I'd have to swear off dating until she was a teenager. Ever since we met, Jesse's taken a shine to you, and you know that I have too. But even after the trauma you went through… you still managed to calm down Jesse." She sat down on the bed, pulling Maddie to stand between her legs. 

"I love you, Maddie Campbell. And I want to help you through all of this, so I'm stepping down from the case unless they absolutely need me. I want to be there for you, like you've been here for us." She finished. 

Maddie had listened quietly, her eyes filling with tears as Amanda spoke. "I love you too, Amanda Rollins. And I love Jesse too; but you don't have to stop doing your job just for me." 

Sliding back on the bed, laying on her side, Amanda held her hand out for Maddie. Taking her girlfriend's hand, Maddie moved to lay next to her. "I know I don't have to. And I know you have your friends who are going to be with you every step of the way but talking to them today… it made me realize that I needed to be with you. That I need to be with you to help you through this. I want to do this."

Maddie smiled, lifting a hand to Amanda's cheek, stopping only when her eyes caught a glimpse of the stitches. She moved to put her hand down, but Amanda quickly caught her wrist.

Turning her hand over, Amanda pressed a series of gentle kisses around the stitches. "I'm sorry that you had to go through this, Maddie, but they'll get him. I know they will." 

Maddie nodded, tearing up as Amanda kissed her other hand. "Thank you, for being with me through this."

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be darlin'." Amanda assured her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Now get some rest, Barba and Liv are coming over in the morning to walk you through what's going to happen next."

Maddie barely heard what she had said, letting sleep take over her.

******

A knock on the apartment door made Maddie jump from where she was standing in the kitchen. She'd been focused on her glass of water, almost as if she was trying to break the glass with her gaze.

Amanda made her way over to the door, Jesse on her hip as she looked through the peephole. Pulling the door open, she stepped aside to let Olivia and Barba into her apartment. "Morning Lieutenant. Counsellor." Amanda greeted. 

"Good morning detective. And good morning to you too Miss Jesse." Barba grinned at the small child who giggled and blew him a kiss.

Olivia, seeing Maddie still standing in the kitchen, clad in the same outfit from yesterday, walked over to her. "Maddie? How're you holding up sweetie?" She asked.

Setting the glass down on the counter, she shrugged. "I'm okay… still sore… down there, but it could be worse." She admitted.

"Well, since we had some officers going over to your apartment last night to check security cameras, I asked Carisi to bring over some fresh clothes and a few other things for you." She smiled a little, holding up the overly gaudy Louis Vuitton bag.

Maddie returned the smile, taking the bag carefully in her fingers. "Thank you, Lieutenant. I appreciate that."

Olivia placed her hand on Maddie's upper arm and gave it a gentle squeeze before turning to Amanda and Barba. "Amanda, are you sure you want to recuse yourself from this investigation today?" She asked, switching from motherly mode to NYPD Lieutenant mode.

Amanda nodded, setting Jesse down on the floor with her toys. "I'm sure, Liv. I won't have a clear head if I know Maddie's goin' through this." She gestured for them all to sit in the living room, taking Maddie's hand as they sat on the sofa.

Barba and Olivia took the two plush chairs across from them, both clearly ready to get down to business. "That's probably the smartest idea. Whoever did this, is going to have their defense try and use your status as a detective to derail the whole trial." Barba leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees. 

"Maddie… I hate to ask this, but can you think of anyone who could have done this? Or set you up?" Olivia asked.

Tucking her feet underneath her, Maddie bit the inside of her cheek. "I don't know. The Board of Directors for the company have been asking me to start taking on more responsibilities because they want Daniel out, but I don't think they would have set me up." 

Barba and Olivia shared a look before Olivia raised a brow. "Maddie…" She began before Maddie covered her mouth with her hands.

"Daniel was the one who told me I had a text from our group chat. I was in the kitchen getting a bottle of water and he came over with my phone showing me the text…" Maddie resisted the urge to pick at her stitches as she continued. "When I was waiting in the courtyard, the person who attacked me jumped out from the bushes beside the door. They got down there before I did… do you think that Daniel could've done it?" She asked quietly.

Amanda looked to Olivia in hopes of seeing maybe they were wrong, but what she saw was her boss, and friend, was something she didn't want to see.

"Daniel was the one who came out of the building before you did, Maddie." Olivia told her solemnly before she pulled out her phone, opening a video and handing the phone to Maddie. 

Taking the phone from Olivia, Maddie pressed play on the video and found herself watching the security footage from her building. Sure enough, there was Daniel, exiting the building about five minutes before Maddie had, and slipping into the bushes.

Maddie could feel her stomach start to turn as she continued watching the video with shaking hands. When it switched to the outside feed, she could see herself waiting in the courtyard before Daniel jumped out of the bushes and grabbed her.

Setting the phone down, Maddie ran from the living room to the bathroom. Dropping to her knees in front of the toilet, Maddie threw up everything she had in her stomach until she was just retching.

Amanda and Olivia had followed her, Barba staying behind to look after Jesse and keep her away from what was happening.

“Maddie?” Amanda asked as she wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling Maddie back into her arms.

Tears poured down Maddie’s cheeks as she tried to keep her sobbing to a minimum. “He did this to me! He did this to me!” She whimpered, gripping Amanda’s arm as hard as she could. 

“I’m so sorry baby.” Amanda whispered as she gently rocked her back and forth. “I’m so sorry. But I’m here, okay? I’m here. I’ve got you.” She assured her.

Olivia had grabbed a washcloth and was carefully wiping Maddie’s forehead before she wiped the corners of her mouth. “Maddie, look at me. This doesn’t change anything okay? We’re going to get him and make sure that he pays for what he did. He won’t be able to hurt anyone anymore okay?”

“No, he’s going to be getting away with it because he gets away with everything! He thinks he’s invincible, he’s been invincible his whole life!” Maddie cried, shaking her head.

Gently, Olivia grasped Maddie’s face. “Sweetie look at me. Barba is the best ADA this squad has ever had. We are not going to let him get away with this. I promise you.” She rested her forehead against Maddie’s as she spoke. “I promise.” 

 ******  

When Maddie had managed to calm down, she moved back to the living room, sitting on the couch. "So, what happens now?" She asked.

Barba looked up from where he was playing with Jesse and lifted her up. "Carisi and Fin are on their way to get him now. He'll go back to the precinct and Liv and I will talk to him." He told her, loosening his tie a bit as Jesse grabbed ahold of it.

Maddie nodded slowly. "I want to be there. When you talk to him… I want to be there… please?"

Amanda shared a skeptical look with Olivia, taking Maddie's hand in hers. "I don't want to see him… I just want to see what he says." She continued. 

Olivia looked to Barba, giving him a look so he could answer her question. "Your choice Rafa." 

"Alright. You can come, but you stay in Liv's office while we interrogate him." He countered.

Maddie nodded quickly. "I promise."

Shortly after their talk, Olivia and Barba headed back to the station, Amanda called her babysitter and gave Maddie time to get ready.

Standing in front of the mirror, clad in only her bra and underwear, Maddie was able to finally see the extent of the damage. Bruises decorated every part of her body, scrapes covering her back and most of her legs.

Maddie could hear the sitter arrive and get Jesse ready for the park, when she heard the tiny voice. "Bye Maddie!! See later!" She yelled.

Poking her head out of the bathroom, Maddie smiled softly. "Bye sweet girl, have fun and be good for Katie okay?" 

When they were gone, Maddie turned her attention back to her reflection in the mirror.

Carefully, her fingers traced the edges of one of the bruises on her side, her blonde curls falling over her shoulder as she did so.

A knock on the door drew Maddie’s attention away once again. “Mads? Can I come in?” Amanda asked, opening the door a bit.

“No, I don’t want you to see me like this… you can’t see me like this when you’ve seen me without a scratch on my body.” She shook her head, tears streaming down her face. 

“Maddie, baby there is nothing that you can look like that won’t make me love you even more. Never.” Carefully, Amanda pushed the door open, taking in the sight of Maddie covered in bruises.

There was just silence for a moment before Amanda reached out, hands running over the bruises as carefully as she could manage. 

“I’m not the same person anymore, ‘Manda… I’m,” she trailed off, searching for the right word, “I’m tainted… I’m not the person you fell for anymore.”

Amanda shook her head, stepping around Maddie to turn the shower on. Grabbing a new towel from the shelf, she set it on the counter. As she moved about the bathroom, setting up everything for Maddie to get ready, the younger just watched, confusion laced through her expression. 

Once she was finished, she turned to look at Maddie, taking both of her hands carefully. “Madeline Elizabeth Campbell. You are not tainted. There is nothing that can change how I look at you. You are the same amazing, crazy smart, gorgeous and strong woman you were when I met you. And I love you more than anything.” 

Maddie looked down at her body as Amanda spoke. She didn’t _see_ what Amanda was talking about, but she could feel the love from what she was saying. “Am I doing the right thing by going to the precinct when he’s there?”

Amanda gave it some thought. “I think you’re doing exactly what you need to be doing right now. But you need to get ready, I’ll just be in the living room if you need me okay?”

Nodding, Maddie stretched up on her toes and gave Amanda a quick kiss before discarding the rest of her clothes and climbing into the shower. 

 ******

As the two made their way into the precinct, Maddie felt like she had a huge neon arrow pointing at her from over her head.

What she hadn’t counted on was Daniel being moved from the holding cell to the interrogation room. “Did the prodigal daughter finally realize what happened to her?” He asked, his tone causing a shiver to run down her spine.

 She took a few steps towards him, keeping a safe distance as the entire bullpen watched her. Just as she went to say something, Fin stood up from his desk, hanging up his phone. “We just got a call from dispatch, Emily Clairwood was found in the apartment twenty minutes ago. She didn’t make it.” 

Maddie could feel her legs try to give out under her as she stared at Daniel. “What did you do to her?” Her voice was barely loud enough for him to hear.

He didn’t give a response, at least not a verbal one. His smirk only widened as he was led to the interrogation room, leaving Maddie and Amanda staring after him as the bullpen erupted into action around them.


	3. Deny What You Can't Admit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel is in custody, but how far is he willing to go to protect or incriminate himself?

Standing in Olivia's office, Amanda and Maddie watched as Olivia sat her brother down.

"So, Daniel. Let's start with when you attacked your sister. You knew the cameras were there. Why'd you do it?" Olivia asked, raising a brow. 

Daniel looked between Olivia and Barba, his smirk still present. "I thought that I would have been able to destroy the feeds before you figured it out." 

"No. That's not why you did it. You did it because you liked having an element of control over Maddie." Olivia countered, leaning forward. "You couldn't stand the fact that everyone around you wanted Maddie to take over the company. It's her company isn't it? Everything's in her name, the company, the apartment… all of it." She leaned back in her chair.

Daniel's smirk had fallen, his brown eyes turned almost black as he watched Olivia. "It's my company. I'm in charge."

"Temporarily. We actually got ahold of the business records. You can't sign for anything. Maddie has to sign for it. But you… have been signing her name for years. So not only do we have you on rape and potentially murder, you're going down for fraud." Barba interjected.

Daniel leaned back in his chair, his eyes moving from Olivia and Barba to the one-way mirror across the room. "I bet you're watching, aren't you Mads?" He asked.

"Don't call me that." Maddie whispered even though he couldn't hear her.

"You're probably wondering why I did this to you? It can't be to keep you safe, if I wanted to do that I would just keep you in the apartment. And it can't be because I love you, because what kind of brother would do something like that?" He asked, tipping his head to the side. 

Amanda moved towards Maddie, wrapping her arms around the younger. "It's okay, Maddie. It's gonna be okay." 

"Oh, you know what it was?" Daniel jumped forward in his seat as if he'd just had a brilliant idea. "It's because you got everything. Everything that was supposed to belong to me. I mean, a corporate lawyer? Seriously? That's the best mom and dad could do?" He raised a brow.

A knock on the interrogation room door, drew everyone's attention. 

"Lieutenant Benson. Barba." Rita greeted them, walking into the room. "You know you're not supposed to be talking to my client without me present."

"He offered up this information, Rita, we were simply… listening." Barba pointed out.

Rita tutted him as the uniformed officer stood Daniel up from his chair. "That's not really your style is it Barba?"

"Why'd you do it Daniel?" Olivia asked. 

"Because everything I said to you, is now inadmissible in court." He smirked, following Rita out of the room.

"We'll see you in arraignment Counsellor!" Rita called over her shoulder as they walked through the building.

Maddie and Amanda had watched the whole scene, eyes wide in shock as Rita breezed in and out of the precinct. "Oh my God…" 

When Barba and Olivia moved back into Olivia's office, Maddie was pacing, picking at her stitches in her hands. "He's going to get away with this. He always gets away with everything. He's not going to pay for what he did to me… for what he did to Emily…" She mumbled. 

Barba stepped over towards Maddie, his face softening as he saw the pain in her eyes. "Hey, I promise you I am going to do everything in my power to make sure that he never sees the light of day again. Why do you think he's going to get away with this?"

"You saw him!" Maddie threw her hands up, pulling out a small series of her stitches that had gotten loose while she was pacing. "You saw that he doesn't care, he just wants… everything to be his! He wants to control everything! Maybe I should have just let him and then none of this would have happened…"

"Maddie look at me," Barba prodded gently. "Please don't think that you deserved this okay? You didn't. Daniel is going to get what's coming to him, I will make sure of that. You have us on your side okay?" He tried to keep her calm as he placed his handkerchief over her now bleeding hands.

Wincing at the sharp pain in her hands, she finally let herself succumb to the pain she was feeling. "Why would he do this to me?!" She whimpered, trying to hold in her sobs as she collapsed into Barba's arms.

Holding her tight, Barba looked over her head at Olivia and Amanda. "We've got you, Maddie. But right now, I think you need to go and get your stitches redone. Arraignment will be this afternoon, you can be there if you're up for it okay?" He looked to Amanda. "Carisi and Fin will be there too. I'm going to try and make sure that he's in Ryker's until the trial."

Amanda gave him a grateful smile and pulled Maddie into her arms, leading her out of the bullpen. "Thanks Barba," she smiled before they left.

"That was really sweet of you, Rafa…" Olivia gave a soft smile as he grabbed his coat. 

"Seeing the pain in her eyes, it reminded me a lot of what I went through with my father. Living in constant fear that he would snap and what would happen if he did. And Maddie's still young, and to see how broken she is over all of this, I know what I have to do." He nodded.

"I'll see you in a few hours!" He called back to her as he too, left the precinct.

 ******  

Sitting in the back row of the court room, Maddie did her best not to pick at the fresh stitches.

Carisi, who'd slid into the bench on the opposite side of her, placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, Maddie. The Counsellor is the best I've ever seen." He assured her.

Maddie nodded, smiling half-heartedly up at him. "Thank you, Detective Carisi." 

"Please, call me Sonny." If Amanda had strong feelings for her, and Maddie seemed to be a good match, he was sure they would be friends. 

And Maddie needed all the support she could get to get through this.

When Olivia rejoined the group after talking to Barba, she nodded to Amanda. "He thinks he's got a pretty strong case to keep him in Ryker’s."

Amanda nodded and took hold of Maddie's hand while the hearing started.

"Your honour, my client has been an upstanding citizen, stepping into the role of the CEO for Campbell Worldwide when his sister was still in school after her mother passed away. We request that he is able to stay in his own home through the duration of the trial. He will surrender his passport, all electronic devices and cease contact with his sister."

"Mr. Barba, you don't agree with Ms. Calhoun's decision?" Judge Barth asked, turning her gaze towards him.

Barba stood, buttoning up his suit jacket once more. "The company, Campbell Worldwide, is under Maddie's name. The apartment that he calls "his home" is in Maddie's name. Whether or not he surrenders his passport my client will not be able to go home, to her home, while he is there. We request he be remanded to Ryker’s during the trial."

Judge Barth looked between the two lawyers and nodded once. "Mr. Campbell will be remanded to Ryker’s pending trial and will remain there until the verdict is delivered." She lifted the gavel and dropped it twice. "Next case."

Maddie couldn't even hear Daniel's various comments and outbursts, for the first time since this started, she felt herself smile. "Wow he really is good." She laughed a little, wiping the tears of relief from her cheeks.

She knew it would be a few weeks until the trial, but for now she could let out a breath of relief.

When Barba walked over to the group, Fin walked over and clapped him on the shoulder. "Nice job Counsellor. At least he'll get a sneak peek at the rest of his life while he's there." He smirked.

Maddie looked up from her place on the bench with a smile. "Thank you, Mr. Barba." Maybe now she would be able to get a restful sleep.

"Of course, Maddie." He smiled, placing his hand on her shoulder for a minute. "Liv, I need to talk to you in my office. Carisi, Fin, I need you as well."

As quickly as they had all settled in the courtroom, four of them had left again and Amanda and Maddie were making their way to the street. "How about we celebrate? Jesse has been asking to watch Book of Life for a week now." Amanda suggested, wrapping an arm around Maddie's waist as the city began its descent into nightfall. 

"That movie's so cute. Definitely underrated." Maddie smiled softly. "How about breakfast for dinner? I'll make you a classic New Orleans breakfast?"

Amanda raised a brow. "You know I still can't believe that you're actually from New Orleans. You walk, talk and act like a born and bred New Yorker." She pointed out.

Maddie rolled her eyes a little. "We moved here as soon as I finished high school, besides it's nowhere near how it's depicted in film and TV." She shrugged as they continued down the street. 

"Well I know that, but you can really only tell when you get passionate about things. Or when you cook, it's always something New Orleans-esque. Not that I'm complaining, I'm just going to have to start running again." She laughed a little as Maddie turned into a small artisan grocery store.

"Please, you look amazing. You'd hardly be able to tell I feed you what's basically your weight in Louisiana food." She smiled as she grabbed a basket.

As the two wandered around the store, picking up items to make dinner, the TV that the owner kept behind the counter blared out over the quiet music in the store.

"Breaking News out of Manhattan this evening. Emily Clairwood, fiancé to Daniel Campbell was found dead in Madeline Campbell's apartment this morning. This comes shortly after Daniel's arrest for attacking his sister earlier in the week. Daniel has been transported to Ryker’s for the duration of the case, though it is unclear what will happen to his sister and their company Campbell Worldwide."

Maddie let out a sigh. "I'm never going to be able to escape this." She shook her head as she put a loaf of bread into the basket.

"We'll get through it, Mads. You don't have to do it alone. How about, once your apartment is ready, you call your friends and have them come over and help you clean up? I can go with you if you'd like, but I don't want to keep you to myself when you need your friends." Amanda suggested, placing eggs into the basket. 

Maddie smiled and leaned up, giving Amanda a gentle kiss. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?" She asked.

"A few times, but I will never tire of hearing it. Now let's go fill Jesse full of eggs and bacon." She laughed, guiding Maddie towards the counter.

******

When Maddie finally sat down after cleaning the dishes, she watched as Jesse smashed the eggs all over her tray. "Well that's not very reassuring." She laughed. 

"See I'm starting to think that when she smashes her food it means she likes it. If it ends up on the floor, try again." Amanda smiled, taking a bite of her own eggs Benedict.

"So, what do you think?" Maddie asked.

"I think that I'm really going to need to start running again." She nodded. "Maddie this is amazing." 

Smiling, Maddie started to eat slowly. "I'm glad you think so. Cooking was something that my home-ec teacher was adamant about. "Cooking is the best way to someone's heart." Except he would say that in his big booming voice with his best over-exaggerated accent." She laughed. 

"Well he was definitely right about that." Amanda smirked, pointing towards Jesse with her fork.

The toddler had taken her smashed eggs and started using her toast to clean them up. "Huh, that is quite the method." She nodded. "So, I was thinking… maybe when this all gets settled, I could take you and Jesse to New Orleans?"

Truth be told, no matter the verdict, Maddie knew she would need to get out of New York. And going back to New Orleans was probably the safest place for her to go.

Amanda smiled almost ear to ear before nodding. "I'd love that."

They finished their meal in relative silence, save for Jesse occasionally laughing and asking Amanda to help her eat her eggs.

Once Jesse had been bathed and the rest of the dishes were done, Maddie sat on the couch, putting the movie on while Frannie sat at her feet. "Alright, c'mon Frannie." Maddie laughed, patting the spot next to her.

"Mama, mama!" Jesse ran up to Amanda and pointed at the couch. "Up please?"

Amanda smiled and lifted Jesse onto the couch who promptly settled herself in Maddie's lap. "Okay?" She asked, her bright little eyes looking up at Maddie.

"Of course, it's okay sweet girl. This is the best way to watch movies." Maddie smiled softly, pressing play on the movie. 

******

About halfway through the movie, Maddie, Jesse and Frannie were all sound asleep on the couch. Jesse had her head tucked under Maddie's chin, one hand gripping the blanket while Maddie had both arms protectively around Jesse. Frannie had her chin resting on Maddie's feet, snoring peacefully.

A quiet knock on the door got both Amanda and Frannie's attention. Looking at the clock on the wall, she saw that it was only eight so someone being at the door was just on the edge of being suspicious.

Walking to the door with Frannie, Amanda peered through the peephole, surprised to see Rita standing at her door. “Counsellor. What are you doing here?” She asked, leaning against the door frame.

“I’m here to talk to Madeline on behalf of her brother.” Rita adjusted the strap of her bag that hung on her shoulder. “He asked me to relay a message to her.” 

Amanda visibly tensed at the mention of Daniel and Frannie started to growl at Rita. “Frannie, go lay back down with Maddie and Jesse.” She instructed, watching her dog go back to the couch. 

Clearing her throat, Rita straightened her posture. “Detective, he asked me to deliver the message straight to her. As his attorney it is my job to make sure that happens.” She persisted.

“She’s asleep, peacefully tonight, knowing he’s in Ryker’s. So, whatever the message is, you’ll either have to give it to me, or it’ll have to wait.” She stated.

Pulling a piece of paper out of the pocket of her coat, Rita held it out. “Here. And do give my condolences for the loss of Emily. I can’t imagine how hard that must be. Losing your sister-in-law and your brother in one day.”

Without another word, Rita turned and headed down the hallway.

“Does she really believe the people she defends?” Maddie asked, poking her head around the corner.

“Honestly at this point I have no idea.” Amanda shrugged, holding out the paper. 

Maddie took it in one hand, her other arm holding Jesse tight to her body. “I don’t… I don’t know if I want to read this. I mean, what more could he have to say to me? He all but confessed before his lawyer showed up.” She sighed, resting her head atop Jesse’s.

Amanda nodded slowly. “How about I put Jesse to bed and you can read whatever the note says. And if you don’t by the time I get back, we can do it together?” She offered.

Nodding, Maddie handed the still sleeping girl over to Amanda and slowly made her way to the couch.

When Amanda rejoined Maddie in the living room, she saw her flipping through the photos, the paper unfolded and forgotten on the table. 

"Mads?" Amanda asked, peering over at the photos.

"How did he still have these photos?" She knew Amanda didn't know the answer, but she didn't know what else to say.

Setting the paper down, she picked up the photos. "This was my high school graduation. One of the last photos we have in New Orleans. Daniel was here in New York doing pro bono cases for corporate firms, bouncing from company to company. My mom and dad tried to get him to come down, I never really asked why he couldn’t fly out, but I was happy with just my parents there. Daniel’s fifteen years older than me, never really gave a shit when I was growing up y’know? He’d have to do the big brother thing occasionally, when my parents were working late or away on business.”

Maddie shrugged before continuing. “I was lucky, I was half raised by Maya’s parents. By the time I was thirteen though, I stopped spending nights there, I’d stay home, learned how to cook, clean… Maya’s parents would check up on me, but with my parents spending a lot of time here making sure the company was doing well…” she trailed off, looking at the paper. 

Picking it up she read it over, her hands starting to shake the further she got into the letter. “Why is he doing this?”

Amanda, who’d been flipping through the photos now, looked up at Maddie. “Doin’ what?”

“He says that he forgives me for accusing him of raping me. He wants me to know that he doesn’t blame me for it, that dealing with a traumatic event like that can make you see the worst in everyone. He’s making this about him, acting like he’s sorry for something he knows he did to me.” Maddie dropped the paper to the table, covering her mouth to try and muffle her sob. 

Amanda leaned back and wrapped her arms around Maddie, pulling the younger woman closer to her. “Look, he’s going to try and use every angle he can to try and get you to drop the case. But you can’t back down okay? Promise me that you won’t back down.”

“I just want him to accept that he did this to me. That he wanted to hurt me, and he did. I really just want to stop crying.” She tucked her head under Amanda’s chin. “More than anything I just want him to pay.”

Laughing a little, Amanda kissed the top of Maddie’s head. “He’s going to pay. Come hell or high water, he will pay for what he did to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this went up a day earlier than I'd expected, but I really hope that you're all still enjoying it so far! I have officially planned out how the rest of this book is going to play out, as well as a second and third book! So hopefully I can keep up with writing at least a chapter a week!
> 
> And thank you to everyone who has left comments I'm so glad to see such a positive response on my first full length SVU fan fiction! You are all amazing!


	4. Standing on A Frozen Lake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just how well is Maddie dealing with everything? Is she able to cope? Or is she in over her head?

Maddie was grateful to Amanda for letting her stay at her apartment while her life had fallen apart, but she knew that it was time to go home. 

And that was where she found herself. Standing in the courtyard that she’d avoided for two weeks, staring at the spot where she was attacked. 

"Maddie? Are you alright?" Walter, the doorman, asked as he walked over to her.

Nodding, she looked up at him. "Yes, I'm okay. Thank you." And she was, for the most part. "There's just a lot of emotion I wasn't prepared for in being back here."

Truth be told, no matter how prepared she thought she was, Olivia had warned her that it would still be a big step. How right she was. 

Making her way into the building, Maddie made sure to press the button for the elevator opposite the one she'd taken two weeks prior. "Maddie. There is a letter here from the Board of Directors at your company. They dropped it off for you last week." Walter walked over to her, the envelope outstretched in his hand. 

"Thank you, Walter. Also, if a woman named Rita Calhoun happens to come by, can you make sure that she is escorted off the property?" She asked, holding the elevator doors open.

Walter nodded, tipping his cap. "Of course, Maddie."

Riding the elevator to the top floor, Maddie fiddled with the envelope for a moment before opening it.

Quickly reading it over, they had apologized for allowing Daniel to run the company as long as he had. They also apologized for what had happened to her, stating that if she needed anything, they would do their best to help.

Unlocking the door, Maddie had expected the place to be tossed from top to bottom. But instead, she saw her friends standing in the kitchen, making what she could tell was jambalaya and everything else in the apartment was spotless. And new.

"Hey…" Maddie raised an eyebrow, setting the letter and her bag down on the kitchen island. "What's all this?"

Maya, who'd been reading the recipe aloud, turned when she heard Maddie's voice. "You're home!" She smiled, rushing towards her friend and wrapping her up in a tight hug.

Maddie smiled, hugging her back as the rest of the group came over to them. "You know one of you should make sure you don't burn the jambalaya." She laughed, looking around at her friends. 

"Well we wanted to make your homecoming as easy as we could. The Board of Directors reached out to us and they had everything in here replaced, after they got permission from the DA's Office and the NYPD." Becca explained.

Maddie smiled softly. It truly amazed her how much her friends cared for her. "You guys are amazing. Thank you, for everything."

Tyler threw his arm over Maddie's shoulders, still being mindful of the fact that she could still be uncomfortable. "Mads, as long as you have us, you don't have to do anything alone. Now, go change, we'll finish up dinner."

Walking up the stairs, Maddie could feel her heart sinking further and further with each step. Closing her eyes at the top of the stairs, she took a few deep breaths.

"Mads?" She heard Maya's voice behind her.

Turning around, she looked to her friend, tears falling down her cheeks before she let out a choked sob. "He ruined my life."

Wrapping her arms around Maddie, Maya carefully led her into her room. "No, he didn't, Mads. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. You aren't doing this alone, you have us. And you have Amanda, and from what we could see, the detectives on Lieutenant Benson's team are ready to take Daniel down."

Maddie practically crumbled the second they sat on the bed. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this. I wasn't supposed to go through this, Maya. What am I going to do?"

Maya stood up, going to Maddie's dresser. Pulling out a pair of leggings, a long-sleeved shirt, and an oversized hoodie, she walked back over to her. "You're going to change into this, we're going to have dinner on the couch and listen to music and talk. After that you are going to call Amanda, and she's going to bring her adorable daughter and we'll watch a movie and you two can sleep in peace for now. We're not leaving you. I promise." Maya assured her, pressing a light kiss to her friend's forehead.

Nodding, Maddie made her way to the bathroom, avoiding looking at the mirror while she changed. Once she was comfortable, she wiped her makeup off and washed her face before tying her hair up in a messy bun.

Sliding her feet into her slippers, Maddie made her way back downstairs to rejoin her friends.

******

After dinner, Maddie had started to clean up when her phone rang.

"Maddie Campbell." She answered. 

"Maddie, it's Rafael Barba." He greeted. "Do you have a moment?" 

Pulling her phone from her ear she looked over at Kyle and Becca who were cleaning the other dishes. "Hey, it's Barba, I'll be right back." 

Moving to the downstairs bathroom, she shut the door, leaning against the counter. "Mr. Barba, to what do I owe the call?"

"Detective Rollins stopped by my office this morning and dropped off a letter and some photos. She said that Rita had dropped them off on behalf of your brother." He leaned back in his office chair as he spoke, glancing at the photocopy of the letter. "I wanted to make sure that you were alright." 

Sighing, Maddie rubbed her temple. She should have known Amanda would have given it to him, and she was sure that the rest of the detectives knew too. "Um, I'm… fine. He's trying to get to me, and I know I can't let him." She stated, almost mechanically.

She could hear a female voice in the background before Barba spoke. "No, that's perfect. I'll see you tomorrow Carmen." 

"Maddie, you don't have to pretend that you're okay just because you think that's what we want to hear. We care about you." He assured her, resting his phone between his shoulder and his ear.

"Mr. Barba, I thought prosecutors weren't supposed to lose their objectivity." Maddie laughed a little, hopping up onto the counter.

Barba chuckled at that. "I haven't, but working with Liv, and the squad for as long as I have. They've opened my eyes. Besides, when I saw the pain you were in, how scared you were of your brother it reminded me of my childhood." He admitted. 

"It did?" She asked, curious, but hoping she didn't overstep. 

Barba cleared his throat, nodding even though she couldn't see. "My father had the same hold over me that your brother has over you. He would come home, no one knew what kind of mood he would be in. It's a terrible way to live, and I would never wish that on anyone." He explained.

"Do you ever talk about it?" Maddie asked quietly. "You sound like you don't talk about it much." 

Barba let out a sigh. "I try not to think about it. I had to work hard to get to where I am now, and I know it's because of my past that I worked as hard as I did. There's a difference between outrunning your past and pushing through it. You can't let it define you. You can let it shape you, but if it defines you, it will consume you." He told her.

Wiping at her eyes, Maddie sniffed. "Y'know I've already cried once today Barba, I really didn't want to cry again." She laughed tearfully. 

"Sorry, Maddie, but you deserve to hear the truth, considering everything you've been through." He chuckled. "But I don't want to keep you from whatever you were doing, so I will let you go."

Maddie smiled, sliding off the counter. "Thank you, Barba. For believing in me, and for everything else."

"Of course, Maddie. If you need anything, you now have my cellphone number. Call anytime." He assured her. "Have a good night." 

"You too Barba." Maddie smiled, hanging up the phone. Putting her phone back in her pocket, she walked back out into the kitchen. "Sorry, I didn't mean to ditch on dish duty. That was Barba asking about the letter that Daniel's lawyer dropped off at Amanda's." 

"It's fine, Mads, we got it." Kyle smiled, drying off his hands. "So, what did Barba say?"

"He just wanted to make sure that I was okay after everything. I guess he's gonna enter the letter into evidence." Maddie shrugged.

Becca nodded, putting away the last of the dishes. "So how are you doing?" She asked.

Sighing, Maddie moved a piece of hair from her face. "I wish I could say that I was okay, but right now I just feel numb. Like every nerve in my body has just died and I'm just waiting to feel something again."

Becca moved towards her friend and gave her a hug. "Mads, we can't imagine what you've been through, but if you need help it's okay to ask." She nodded.

"I know… but I feel like I should be handling this better. This happens to so many people, and I'm just shutting down." Maddie sighed, walking towards the couch after pulling away from her friend's embrace.

"What can we do? Can we call Me. Barba? Or Lieutenant Benson? Should we call Amanda?" Kyle asked as he and Becca followed her towards the couch.

At that moment, the door opened, and Maya, Tyler and Amanda walked in, Jesse resting comfortably on Tyler's back. "Who's calling Amanda?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Maddie smiled softly when she saw Amanda and Jesse, her heartwarming at the sight. "No one, we were just talking." She shrugged.

"Maddie…" Becca tried. 

"Becca. It's fine." Maddie interjected, a forceful smile on her lips before they were joined by the rest of the group.

Amanda shared a look with Becca and Kyle who both shook their heads. Nodding, Amanda walked over to Maddie, kissing her cheek. "Hey you."

Maddie smiled and looked up at Amanda. "Hey. I'm glad you're here."

Maya watched the two of them as she lifted Jesse off Tyler's back. "Hey little Jay, how about we pick a movie to watch? Maddie has a huge collection of Disney movies." She smiled. "We can watch her if you want to talk." She looked at Amanda who nodded again and took Maddie's hand. 

"What's going on?" Maddie asked as she was led up the stairs.

"Your friends are concerned about you. You don't have to talk to us about everything, but you can't shut us out." Amanda explained, shutting the door to her room.

Sitting cross legged on her bed, Maddie raised a brow. "They brought you over here to give me a lecture?"

Amanda shook her head, crouching in front of the bed. "No. They brought me here because they know how much I love you, and because I know what an assault like this can do to a person." She paused, placing a hand on her cheek. "A few years ago, there was a girl who was raped at Hudson. She was devastated, but when I went to check up on her, she was fine. Smiling, happy even. But the next time… she had taken her life by jumping off the roof. She was what we call pink clouding, and I knew it, but I didn't push, and she died. I can't let you do the same thing." She was holding back tears of her own as she looked at Maddie. "So, you need to tell me, what's going on. Please?"

Taking a deep breath, Maddie laid back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "I feel like I'm standing on a frozen lake. Like I'm trapped on the one spot where the ice hasn't cracked just yet. Everything around me is breaking and crumbling and I know that eventually, I have to move because the ice will break under me. But… every time I think I can take a step, I know I'm getting closer and closer to falling into the water." She paused briefly. "I'm scared 'Manda…" 

Amanda had laid down next to Maddie, absently drawing a pattern on the back of the hand she was holding. "I know you're scared, baby, but please don't shut me out. Don't shut your friends out either." She pleaded, looking over at Maddie who'd curled up into her side. 

"I'll try…" She nodded. "I know that Jesse's here, but can we stay here for a while? I feel like I haven't slept and I'm exhausted." She looked up at her girlfriend with eyes that showed just how tired she was.

"Of course, Maddie. Get some sleep." Amanda smiled, kissing her forehead.

******

When Maddie woke up, she saw that she was alone in her bed and the sun was practically blinding.

For the first time in two weeks, she actually felt like she was well rested. Maybe talking to Barba and Amanda had lifted the weight that had been keeping her up at night.

Grabbing her phone from her sweater pocket, she pressed the home button to look at the time. Her eyes widened when she saw that it was eleven o'clock in the morning.

"Holy shit…" She whispered when she heard a knock on the door. "Come in!" She called, moving to her dresser to grab some clothes for the day. 

Amanda walked in with Jesse and smiled. "Good morning beautiful. Someone has been very desperate to see you all day." She looked down at Jesse who was bouncing in her spot.

Crouching down, Maddie opened her arms, doing her best not to fall backwards as the small girl launched herself into her arms. "Oh, hello sweet girl! Did you have fun with everyone last night?" She smiled, standing up with Jesse still in her arms.

Jesse nodded quickly. "Auntie Maya and I pick Cinderella!" She giggled.

Maddie looked over to Amanda with a raised brow at the Auntie Maya comment. Amanda just smiled and shrugged. "Did you get to have ice cream too?" She asked. 

"Lots of ice ceamz!" Jesse nodded. "Unca Ty ate lot's too!"

Maddie smiled and set Jesse down once again. "Well, how about tonight after mommy and I get home, we watch the second Cinderella?" She suggested. 

"Okay! Mommy I go play now?" She asked, turning her attention back to Amanda.

Nodding Amanda kissed the top of her daughter’s head. "Sure sweetie, go find Auntie Maya okay?" 

When Jesse ran off to find Maya, who'd been waiting for her down the hall, Maddie shut the door. "So… Auntie Maya and Uncle Ty?" 

"She came up with it on her own last night. I think it helps that she calls Carisi, Uncle Sonny." Amanda gave a slight shrug.

Maddie smiled and continued to get her clothes from the dresser. "I think it's absolutely adorable." She laughed. "I mean, when we all hang out, you should hear how much they talk about her, offering to babysit so we can go on a date. They love her." Maddie placed her clothes on the bed, examining the outfit she'd picked out.

"I'm glad. All I've ever wanted for Jesse is people who love her and care about her. Between the squad and you and your friends, the two of us are very lucky.” She smiled. 

Turning around to face Amanda, Maddie was biting her lip. “Move in with me.”

“What?”

“Move in with me. I’ve been thinking about asking you for a while, but after everything with Daniel there was never a right time. But now… after last night, I know that I want to come home to you and Jesse every night. You don’t have to answer right now but—” Maddie was quickly cut off by Amanda kissing her with everything she had.

When the two parted, they were both smiling. “You don’t have to sell it, Maddie. We’d love to move in with you.” Amanda replied. 

Maddie could feel her heart swell as Amanda spoke, wrapping her arms around her neck. “I would love to celebrate more, but I feel like Barba is a stickler for punctuality. I’d better get ready.”

“He really is. Don’t worry, we can celebrate later. Jesse’s sitter is on her way over, I figured you’d want everyone with you. I hope it’s okay she’s coming here.” Amanda told her as she watched Maddie move around the room, getting ready.

“Amanda I just asked you two to move in, I think that it’s fine if Jesse’s sitter starts coming over here.” Maddie pointed out, pulling on her pants.

She was careful, choosing each article of clothing to make sure that she didn’t stand out and that Daniel had no reason to use her wardrobe against her.

Pulling on her blazer over her blouse she looked in the full-length mirror and ran her fingertips gently along the remnants of the bruise on her throat. “I don’t think that I’m ready for this.” She shook her head, turning away from the mirror. 

Amanda got up from the bed and walked towards her girlfriend. “Yes, you are, Maddie. People need to know what he did to you, and he needs to pay for that.” She grabbed the pair of shoes Maddie had set aside and held them out. “And I’ll be right by your side the whole time.”

 ******  

"Maddie, just remember to answer the questions honestly. If Rita goes too far, I can try and object but it's up to the judge if you answer. She'll try to get you to blame yourself, but she's defending her client and that's what I'm doing for you." Barba explained as they made their way inside the courthouse.

Maddie nodded, picking at the material of her winter jacket. "So, she's going to make it seem like I wanted this to happen?" She asked. 

"She might, but you didn't want it to happen. That's what's important." Olivia pointed out.

Maddie could feel her head starting to spin as she nodded almost mechanically. "Okay… um… will he get to ask me any questions?"

Barba shook his head. "Not directly, no. And if you feel uncomfortable or nervous we can ask the judge for a recess and we can figure out where to go from there okay?"

Maddie nodded again, not wanting her voice to betray her.

As they made their way into the courtroom, Maddie reached out and took Amanda's hand, holding it like it was her lifeline. "I don't know if I can do this…" She whispered as she caught sight of Rita, walking in as well.

"I've got you, baby. I promise you're going to get through this." Amanda knew that no words could reassure her right now, so she just held Maddie's hand in both of hers once they were seated.

She hadn’t really been paying attention, her mind going a mile a minute until she heard the mention of her relationship with Amanda. Turning to look at Rita, Maddie’s jaw fell slightly.

"Your honour, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Mr. Barba's client has been in a relationship with SVU Detective Amanda Rollins for months, prior to this case. Wouldn’t you say that’s a little _suspicious_?” She asked, looking to the jury.

“Objection your honour, Detective Rollins recused herself from the case the moment she found out that Ms. Campbell was the victim.” Barba spoke up, looking up from his notepad.

Judge Barth looked between the two lawyers and nodded. “Sustained, jury will disregard.”

Maya, who was sitting on the other side of Maddie, gave her friend’s hand a gentle squeeze.

“We will now have a fifteen-minute recess, after which Counsellor’s can call their witnesses. This is a reminder to the jury to not discuss the case or its preceding’s outside the courtroom or you will be removed from the jury.” Judge Barth announced.

Maddie leaned back in her seat for a moment before she got up, following her friends out of the courtroom to a bench in the hallway. “What happens now?” She asked as she saw Barba come into her line of view.

“Now you tell them what happened to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update everyone! I've been trying to get ahold of my family and friends who have been effected by the wildfires in British Columbia that are now effecting my family in Alberta so I've been making sure that they're alright.
> 
> Other than that, I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated!


	5. Hell on Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Maddie has to testify against her brother? How will she react to seeing the video again? And when things take a turn for the worst, who is really to blame?

Sitting on the stand, Maddie felt like there was a huge neon arrow pointing at her. "Ms. Campbell, the night of your attack, you told Detective Carisi that you were at a party your brother was throwing. And you also mentioned that he was the one who came to you saying that your friends had sent you a text." Barba began, standing up from his seat and buttoning his jacket.

"Yes, I did." Maddie nodded.

"And what did that text message say?"

"It said, we're on our way to pick you up for a late dinner at Via Della, we'll be there in fifteen." Maddie watched as Barba grabbed the photo of the text conversation, showing the jury.

"Ms. Campbell, what happened after that?" He asked.

Maddie folded her hands in her lap in a way to dig her nails into her palms to keep focused as she had to recount what happened. "I changed and went down to the courtyard to wait for them. I had just put my phone in my pocket when something hit me on the back of my head. I fell onto my hands, and I was dragged out of view of the streetlights. It got dark, and I could feel him taking off my pants, then his hand was on my throat as he…" Maddie trailed off, her eyes flicking to Daniel and then back to Barba. "As he raped me."

"People's Exhibit B through L." Barba grabbed the mall remote from the table and flipped through the photos showing the bruises and cuts across various parts of her body.

They both heard a juror or two audibly gasp when the image came to the bruise on her throat when the photos were taken at the hospital.

"Ms. Campbell, did you ask your friends about the text message that you'd received?" Barba asked.

Maddie shook her head. "No, I did not. They were asked about it by the other detectives."

"And what did they say?"

"They said that they hadn't sent any texts, they had even shown Lieutenant Benson their phones. She said that the signal had come from my apartment, so whoever it was would have been at the party." Maddie chanced a look to Olivia who gave a slight nod.

"And later, they had shown you a video right?"

Maddie nodded again. "Yes, sir."

"Are you comfortable watching the video again?" He asked, and she nodded slowly.

"Yes."

When the video played, Maddie's hands clenched into tighter fists, feeling the slightest bit of blood trickle out onto her palms.

Pressing play on the video, everyone in the courtroom had turned their attention to the screen, watching the events of her attack unfold.

When it came to the part if her attack where Daniel had pulled her into the bushes, Maddie turned herself away from the screen, tears filling her eyes. "Stop, stop, STOP!" She begged, her voice cracking as her shoulders started to shake.

Barba stopped the video and made his way over to Maddie. "It's okay. You're not there. You're in the courthouse. You're safe." He assured her. "Maddie, look at me." When she lifted her gaze to his, he gave her a soft smile. "See? You're alright."

Judge Barth gave Maddie a concerned look before turning to Barba. When he merely nodded and took a few steps back, he turned to the jury. "Nothing further." Turning on his heel, he looked to Rita as he moved to his chair. "Your witness."

Standing up, Rita looked towards Maddie. "Ms. Campbell, first let me say how sorry I am for what happened to you."

Maddie just blinked, a dull ringing in the back of her head starting to fill her ears.

"Seeing that video again must be hard to try and move on from this isn't it?" She asked Maddie, didn't say anything in response.

"Ms. Campbell, the night of your attack, you said that you were hit on the back of the head, correct?" She asked.

"Yes, ma'am." Maddie nodded.

"So, isn't it possible that you didn't see your brother? That it was an image planted in your head by the SVU Detectives?" Rita asked, taking a few steps towards her.

"Objection," Barba spoke up, leaning forward in his seat.

"Overruled, the witness will answer." Judge Barth answered, turning to Maddie.

"I didn't know who had attacked me. I was hit on the back of the head and dragged into the bushes; I couldn't see anything. But I saw the video before anyone had told me who had attacked me." Maddie answered, hoping she hadn't opened herself to something worse.

"So, it is possible that you don't know who did it, right? Those feeds could be doctored; you know that. Your brother's company is the biggest tech conglomerate in North America, after all." Rita pointed out.

"It's my company. And yes, videos can be doctored, but no one has access to any of the feeds in the building but the landlord who lives in Florida." Maddie rebutted.

Barba covered his mouth with a fist to hide the smirk. He knew he liked Maddie for a reason.

"What are you saying, Maddie?" Rita asked, narrowing her eyes.

"I'm saying that I know who raped me. My brother did, and he said that he did before you picked him up at the police station this morning. He asked me if I had figured out who had attacked me, and he taunted Lieutenant Benson and Mr. Barba, saying that he was hoping he could erase the feeds before anyone got to them. He knows what he did to me, and he won't admit it because he wants to take everything I have." She was careful to keep her voice even, fighting back her tears as she looked at Rita.

Rita turned to the judge and nodded. "No further questions your honor."

Judge Barth nodded. "Very well, the witness may step down."

As Maddie was making her way back to where she'd been sitting, Rita not far behind her, she did her best not to look at Daniel. At least not until she heard him get up and rush to her, both hands wrapped around her throat before anyone knew what was happening.

Maddie tried to push his hands off, but it was no use, every time she struggled, he squeezed tighter.

Everyone in the courtroom had erupted into chaos shortly after. The detectives from Olivia's squad had pulled their guns, as did the cops stationed at the courthouse.

"Daniel let her go," Olivia said calmly.

"Why? So, she can get everyone's pity like always? Where was my pity when I was her age?! Huh?! No one had any! She had the life that I always wanted, she got everything, and I got nothing. Now she's still getting what she wants!" He shouted, his grip tightening around Maddie's throat.

"This isn't the way to get people to listen to you, Daniel. She's still your little sister. She's the only family you have left." Olivia tried to reason.

Maddie had been trying to reserve whatever oxygen she could, but the room was spinning, and black spots clouded her vision. She could hear Olivia trying to talk Daniel out of whatever had gotten into him, but she knew it was no use. "P-please…" She whispered.

"Shut up!" Daniel yelled, watching as Maddie fell unconscious.

Letting her go, Barba was quick to catch her, laying her down as he tried to feel if she had a pulse.

Daniel backed away the second his hands were off his sister, and he was grabbed by the courthouse cops and escorted out of the courtroom.

"Maddie, come on, breathe…" Barba was half cradling her between him and Amanda who had dropped to her knees across from him. Tipping her head back Barba listened for her breathing, watching to see if her chest was rising and falling.

"Please, baby… breathe." Amanda pleaded, taking her hand.

"Amanda the medics are here, they're gonna take care of her." Maya placed her shaking hands on Amanda's shoulders. "C'mon, let them work."

Olivia walked around them to Barba and placed one hand on his arm, the other resting on his shoulder. "Are you okay?" She asked him quietly.

Barba watched as the paramedics laid her on the backboard, putting an oxygen mask over her face. "No. I should have known he would try something, but I didn't take extra precautions, even after we saw how smug he was."

It took a few more minutes, but finally, Maddie's eyes opened, looking around panicked until she saw where she was.

Once she was able to breathe without the mask on, the paramedics checked her eyes and her throat to make sure there would be no lasting damage. "Make sure that you drink lots of water okay? And stick to soft foods for the rest of the day, just in case." The female paramedic smiled, helping Maddie to her feet.

Slowly as everyone settled back into their seats, Judge Barth made her way back to the bench. "Ms. Campbell, I'm glad you're alright. Regarding what happened, the trial will be postponed until the new year, pending full psychological evaluations and counseling sessions from both Mr. Campbell and Ms. Campbell. Counselors in my chambers. You too Lieutenant Benson." She ordered.

When Barba moved to follow Judge Barth, Maddie got up slowly, still a little lightheaded, making her way over to him. "Wait, Barba…" She spoke quietly.

Turning around, Barba went to move towards her, seeing the bruises on her throat already darkening, he cleared his throat. "I can't keep Judge Barth waiting; we'll talk later."

******

It had been just over a month since Maddie's assault and a week since the incident at the courthouse.

She had felt like Barba had been avoiding her the entire time, dodging her calls and not returning her voicemails. So, she took it upon herself to go and visit him at work.

"Hi, Carmen I'm here to see Mr. Barba, is he in?" She asked, balancing the carrying tray of coffees in one hand as she held out a box of beignets.

Carmen gratefully took one, setting it on the waxed paper it came on. "He is, he's just talking to Lieutenant Benson." She smiled, gesturing to the door.

Knocking on the door, Maddie opened it, stepping into the office. "Barba? I was hoping we could— oh my God!" She closed her eyes and shut the door, turning around to face Carmen again who seemed blissfully unaware of what was going on.

Sitting across from Carmen, Maddie picked up a beignet and took a bit. "So… Barba and Benson? How long has that been a thing?" She asked.

Carmen raised an eyebrow. "Unofficially? At least a few months. Officially? Well, let's say you aren't the first one to walk in on them." She laughed.

"Huh, well I think Amanda's gonna win the office pool then," Maddie smirked.

The two women continued to chat for a few moments until Barba's office door opened again and he and Benson stepped out looking relatively less disheveled. "Maddie, sorry to keep you waiting. Please, come in."

Maddie and Carmen shared a look before Maddie stood up. "I'll call Amanda after and set everything up. How about seven?" She asked.

Carmen smiled. "Sounds perfect, we'll see you there."

Walking into Barba's office, she held the coffees out for him and Olivia, setting the beignets down on the table. "Maya had these delivered from our favorite bakery, Café du Monde, in the French Quarter." She took a few steps back towards the door.

"How are you holding up Maddie?" Olivia asked, closing the gap between them and placing a hand on her upper arm.

Maddie shrugged. "It hurt to talk, breathe or do anything up until two days ago. I just… I wanted to talk to you, Barba. In court, you wouldn't look at me, and I've tried calling, but you haven't been picking up the phone. Did I do something wrong?" She asked, putting her hands in the pockets of her jacket.

Olivia's hand dropped from Maddie's arm as she looked back to Barba. "You said that Maddie hadn't reached out."

Barba looked between the two women in front of him before his eyes settled on Maddie. "To be honest, I was shocked you even wanted to hear from me." He admitted.

"What?"

"Maddie, I watched Daniel choke you out. Thankfully most people wake up without having to go to the hospital, but I just… stood there. I couldn't do anything to help you." He looked genuinely distraught over what happened, which only made Maddie's heartache.

"I should have known he would try something, the way he acted when he was brought to the precinct, everything about him put me on edge. I should have asked for more security precautions when it came to the court proceedings, I'm sorry, Maddie." He continued.

Maddie shook her head slightly, ignoring the pain in her neck that had remained and walked towards him. Wrapping her arms around him, she stretched up on her toes slightly, hugging him as tight as she could.

"I don't blame you, Barba. I never did. You didn't know what would happen, no one did." She mumbled.

Barba took a minute to respond to her hug, wrapping his arms around her carefully. When her words reached his ears, he held on a little tighter.

Part of him wished that he could have spared Maddie the pain of what Daniel did to her, he had seen the same thing from his father when he was a child; but he knew there was no way to go back and fix it. "Thank you, Maddie." He smiled a little.

Stepping back, Maddie undid her coat, grateful she'd worn a turtleneck to avoid more questions. "Judge Barth said that the trial was postponed pending psychological evaluations and therapy from both of us. What does a psychological evaluation entail?" She asked curiously, sitting at the table.

Olivia and Barba sat on either side of her before Olivia spoke. "You'll be meeting with a psychiatrist, and they'll try to get to the root of the issues that you're facing."

Maddie nodded, picking at her nails a little. "So, I'm gonna have to go to therapy after that right?" She didn't have anything against therapy, but the thought of talking to someone she didn't know about everything in her head.

"Yes, we can refer you to someone who works directly with people whose cases we've worked," Olivia assured her.

Before Maddie could respond, Olivia's phone rang. Pulling it from her pocket, she answered it. "Fin, is everything okay?"

After a beat, she stood from her seat. "Alright, I'm on my way back now." Hanging up, she looked to Barba and Maddie. "We may have found a way to get Daniel for Emily's murder. Fin needs me back at the precinct."

Maddie could tell when Barba stood up and grabbed her coat; he wanted to kiss her. "Oh, don't let my presence stop you." She smirked, turning away.

"I'll see you tonight," Barba mumbled against her lips before opening the door to his office for her.

Maddie turned back around when the door shut again. "Who'd have thought the badass Lieutenant would end up with the snarky, yet equally as badass ADA?" She smiled.

Barba rolled his eyes and sat back down next to her. "Alright let's see it. I know you're hiding it to avoid everyone asking questions." He gestured to her neck.

Maddie bit her lip and nodded, rolling the collar of her turtleneck down.

When she'd see the marks that morning, they had turned dark black and blue, so she hid them before Jesse saw her. "It doesn't hurt as much, only sometimes, but it doesn't help that it's still over the last set of bruises." She admitted with a small shrug.

"Oh my God, Maddie…" He peered closer at the handprints on her neck.

"It's okay… it doesn't hurt anymore." She shrugged a little. "I mean it hurts, but not if I'm just sitting here."

Barba nodded, not entirely sure if he believed her or not. "If that changes, make sure that you go get it looked at okay?"

Rolling the collar of her shirt back up, Maddie looked at him with an amused smile. "You're like the brother I always wanted." She laughed softly.

Laughing with her, he stood up and made a move for his coat. "Come on; I don't have court this afternoon. I'll take, you to lunch and we can start window shopping for Christmas." He offered.

“There’s a great pho place, and since I’m still not supposed to eat anything that’s too solid, that may end up being the best option,” Maddie suggested, pulling her coat back on.

“Pho sounds great.” Barba agreed, grabbing his coat from the rack by the door.

******

As the two made their way through the streets, fighting against the bitterly cold winds that blew through the city on their way back to the courthouse, Maddie took in the sights of the very beginning of the Christmas season.

“Hmm,” Maddie hummed as she turned to look in a shop window.

It was decorated top to bottom in everything Christmas. Garland, lights, a tree that looked straight out of a catalog.

“Everything okay?” Barba asked as he walked up next to her.

Maddie shrugged, staring intently at the display. “I don’t know. I love Christmas, it’s always been my favorite holiday, but this year with everything going on, it’s like there’s a dark cloud hanging over it. I know I’m going to have to celebrate with Amanda and Jesse, hell I’ve already bought way too many things for Jesse, but I still feel like I’m not in it this year.”

Barba wrapped his arm around her shoulders, gently steering her away from the window. “I know that it seems like things can’t go on as they normally would, but that is exactly what Daniel wants. He wants you to stop living your life so that he wins. It’s not uncommon in the cases that I’ve seen.” He explained.

As they continued down the street, Maddie’s gaze flitted around the streets. “But how can I not let it consume me? I can pretend that I’m fine, I even go through times where I feel like I can be okay, but something like that stupid Christmas display makes me wish that I hadn’t said anything.”

“If you hadn’t said anything, he wouldn’t be sitting in Ryker’s right now.” Barba pointed out, wishing that he could do more than offer words as a sympathy.

“I could go crazy trying to think of what to say to try and make this better, but there are no words to make any of this better. I’m sorry that you’re going through this, but you can’t let the pain run your life. If you do, Daniel wins.”

Maddie nodded, tears filling her eyes. “I know, I just wish that he wasn’t trying to get inside my head.”

“We’ll get him, Maddie. I know you’ve heard this a lot lately, but we’re going to make sure that he can’t hurt you anymore.” He assured her.

Smiling a little, she looked up at him. “You are like a big brother; you know that?”

Barba smirked. “Well, I always did want a little sister.”


	6. O Night Divine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Christmas bring Maddie peace for the first time in months? Or will she still be consumed by the thought of having to face her brother once and for all?

It was the day before Christmas Eve, and the past few weeks seemed to have happened in the blink of an eye. Amanda and Jesse were at home waiting for Maddie's friends to come over, as was their Christmas tradition every year. Maddie herself had wound up walking the streets. She assured Amanda she would keep her phone on her, but Maddie needed to be alone, and she hadn't been alone since her attack, just over two months ago.

There wasn't exactly a destination in mind when she started, but as the snow began to fall, and a few businesses were closing up for a holiday, she knew where she had to go.

Wandering down the now snow-covered streets, Maddie stopped in front of a church near Central Park. Staring up at it, she took a deep breath and walked inside.

She was a lapsed Catholic at best, the last time she'd set foot in a church was her mother's funeral. Of course, being a gay woman didn't exactly make her want to go back. The Catholic church had always been clear on how they felt about that. But she figured that this close to the holiday no one would be following her around.

Sitting in the back, Maddie pulled her jacket off and leaned back, listening to the service.

It seemed to be over too quickly, and Maddie once again found herself in the quiet streets of Manhattan on her way back home.

Walking into the building, Maddie gently brushed the snow from her jacket as she stood on the mats. "Harold, good to see you." She smiled, walking over to him. "I hope they don't plan on keeping you throughout the entire holiday." She laughed, giving him a gentle hug. 

"It's good to see you as well, Maddie." He smiled, returning her hug. "Oh no, they gave both Walter and I Christmas Eve and Christmas off. My wife would be furious if I missed Christmas dinner." He chuckled. 

"Well, I hope you have a Merry Christmas, and say hi to your family for me." She smiled, giving him one last hug. 

"Thank you; I will. Merry Christmas Maddie." He nodded and sent her on her way.

******

Back inside her apartment, Maddie could hear muffled Christmas music playing accompanied with laughter.

Opening the door, she stepped inside, smiling at the sight that greeted her.

Her friends were putting up the last of the decorations, Amanda was helping Maya and Jesse finish up a gingerbread house. 

“You guys put up the decorations?” Maddie asked, raising a brow. She wasn’t going to decorate the apartment until she requested Amanda to move in, but she hadn't expected her friends to do it for her. Since her father’s death, they had only had a tree put up, despite how much Maddie begged her mother to hang up more decorations. 

Tyler, who was on Kyle’s shoulders to hang up lights around the apartment, turned to look at Maddie. “Yeah. You had started, but we figured that since it’s the day before Christmas Eve, we should finish up.” He chuckled. 

“And that involved you being on Kyle’s shoulders?” She asked, hanging up her coat. 

“Both Becca and Maya were too short and ‘Manda said there was no way she was doing it. So, the boys have it under control.” Kyle answered matter-of-factly.

Making her way over to Amanda, Maddie gave her a gentle kiss. “I see that you’ve also been pretty busy.” She smiled.

“Jesse was pleased that Auntie Maya brought over a gingerbread house.” Amanda laughed.

Maddie joined in the laughter and kissed the top of Jesse’s head. “Hi, sweet girl. Are you having fun?” She asked. 

Jesse, who had been incredibly focused on candy placement, complete with her tongue stuck out looked up at Maddie. “Yeah! Auntie Maya fun!” She grinned.

“That’s right. The aunties are always the most fun.” Maya nodded as she put more icing in the piping bag. 

Amanda got up from her seat and walked over to Maddie, wrapping an arm around her waist. “Where did you end up walking to?” She asked.

Maddie brushed a bit of hair from Amanda’s face before answering. “I ended up going to church.” 

“Maddie Campbell, the lapsed Catholic, went to church and it didn’t burst into flames?” Becca teased as she brought over a tray of hot chocolate. 

Looking over at her friend, Maddie smirked, rolling her eyes. “Gee thanks, Bex.”

“You know you love me Mads. Here, adult hot chocolate for us, and a regular hot chocolate for little Jay.” Becca smiled, holding out the hot chocolate that she somehow got into a sippy cup for Jesse. “Be careful sweetie; it may be a little warm still okay?”

Jesse nodded, holding the warm sippy cup in her hands. “Thank you, Auntie Bex.”

Maddie smiled and took a sip of her hot chocolate. “I swear this gets better and better every year.”

Becca smiled and handed a mug to Amanda and Maya before looking at the boys who were now on the other side of the wall. “Are you two monkey men done yet?”

Tyler finished with the last strand of garland and lights before Kyle crouched down enough to let him hop down. “Yes, the two monkey men are done. You’re welcome by the way.” He smirked.

“Thank you monkey men!” Maddie grinned, passing Jesse a few candies to put on the gingerbread house. 

“Oh, Mads, did you still want to have everyone here for Christmas dinner?” Kyle asked. “I know you were talking about it a couple of weeks ago.”

Maddie nodded. “Yeah absolutely! I know that this isn’t going to be the Christmas that everyone planned, but I’m glad you guys are gonna be here.” She smiled softly. 

Amanda took Maddie’s hand and gently pulled her girlfriend into her lap. “I think it’s pretty much understood that we don’t want to be anywhere else but here, baby.” She pointed out. 

Resting her head against Amanda’s shoulder, Maddie smiled. “Have I ever told you how grateful I am to have you guys in my life?”

Tyler shrugged. “Only all the time. But we love hearing it; it does wonders for our egos.” He teased.

Maddie grabbed a jellybean and tossed it at Tyler, hitting him in the forehead. “You don’t need any help with your ego.” She laughed. 

As Jesse finished up her gingerbread house, she looked to her mother and Maddie. “Movie time!” She exclaimed.

“Well, it looks like we know what we’re doing next. Go pick a movie kiddo, and we’ll get everything set up.” Maddie grinned and got up from Amanda’s lap, helping Jesse off the table.

******

Across town, a similar situation was taking place. Barba had been staying at Olivia’s more and more since they had started their relationship, so spending the holiday together didn’t feel too out of the ordinary.

Especially since Noah loved his Uncle Rafa.

Sitting curled up on the couch, surrounded by only the glow of the Christmas tree lights, the family of three were watching _Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas._

“You know if anyone had asked me if I would be here, even a year ago, I would have said they were crazy,” Barba smirked as his hand absently threaded through Olivia’s hair.

Smiling, Olivia tipped her head up towards him. “I’m glad you’re here with us, but are you sure that your mother doesn’t mind me stealing you tomorrow night? I know that Noah would love you to be here when he wakes up on Christmas morning.” 

Shaking his head, Barba kissed the top of her head. “Of course not. Trust me she’s thrilled that I won’t wake up alone on Christmas morning as I have for many years. As long as you’re sure that you’re alright with her coming over for Christmas dinner.”

Olivia smiled. “All I’ve wanted is a family, Rafa, since I was a little girl. I am more than okay with that.”

Noah looked up at his mother and Barba with an exasperated look on his face. “You’re supposed to watch the movie with me, momma! You too Uncle Rafa!” He exclaimed, holding his bowl of popcorn close to him. 

The two adults laughed as Olivia kissed the top of his curly-haired head. “We’re sorry, sweet boy, we’ll pay attention now.” 

It wasn’t long after that that Noah was struggling to stay awake. “Come on sweet boy; it’s time for bed.” She smiled, shifting him into her arms. 

A sleepy Noah wrapped his arms around his mother’s neck. “Okay, momma.”

After she tucked him into bed, Olivia sat back down, her legs thrown over Barba’s lap. “So how did your meeting with the DA go yesterday?”

The two of them had always made sure that Noah was asleep when they talked about work, even before their relationship. Olivia wanted to protect him from the horrors of their jobs for as long as she could. 

“He wanted to make sure that I was objective. Daniel has eyes all over the city, and he saw that Maddie and I were out to lunch. He asked if I wanted to recuse myself like Rollins, and I told him that if it came to that, I would, but I don’t want to let Maddie down by giving this case to someone who will throw her to the wolves.” Barba shrugged, absently rubbing Olivia’s left leg.

“The fact that you care about her this much is proof that you’re doing what’s right, Rafa. Not even Jack McCoy can take that away from you.” Olivia smiled, her hand gently playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. 

Barba nodded, looking over at Olivia with a smile on his face. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” She asked, leaning her head against the back of the couch.

“Just that I can’t believe I’m here. I’d be lying if I said that I hadn’t wished for nights like this.” He admitted with a sheepish grin.

Olivia raised a brow. “A hyperactive five-year-old and falling asleep on the couch, sometimes at a reasonable hour and sometimes being up until two in the morning because that’s what the job entails?”

Barba scooted a little closer on the couch, pulling Olivia into his lap. “All of it. The early mornings, the late nights, the constant questions from your ever-curious son. This is what want, Liv, for as long as you’ll let me.” 

Smiling from ear to ear as tears filled her eyes, Olivia quickly wiped them away. “All in?”

“All in.”

******

Maddie and Amanda were of course, already awake, lying curled up on the floor with Maddie’s friends, Jesse tucked between them. 

“Merry Christmas, Amanda,” Maddie whispered, giving Amanda a gentle kiss.

“Merry Christmas, Maddie.” Amanda returned both the sentiment and the kiss. “You know this may not be Jesse’s first Christmas,” it was, in fact, her third, “but this is going to be one of her best Christmases. Thank you, for asking us to move in and including us in your traditions.” She smiled. 

As they continued to lay there, just listening to the fireplace and the soft Christmas music that they’d left playing all night, Jesse started to stir.

“Mommy, Maddie it’s Christmas!” She giggled, squirming to get out from between the two of them.

Laughing, Maddie sat up, stretching out. “Yes, it is, sweet girl. How about we wake up everyone else and then we can start opening presents?” She smiled, pointing to her friends.

Still giggling, Jesse crawled over Maddie towards Maya and Tyler. “Auntie Maya! Unca Ty! It’s Christmas!” She exclaimed, rolling onto Becca and Kyle.

“Auntie Bex! Unca Kyle wake uuuuuup!” Maya and Tyler, who were slowly waking up, looked over at Maddie and Amanda.

“You two are lucky she is adorable. I haven’t had to wake up this early since University.” Maya groaned, pushing herself into a sitting position. “I’m making coffee before we do anything.”

When Jesse crawled over to Kyle, he lifted her up over him, chuckling. “Good morning, little Jay. Are you excited for Christmas?” He asked, sitting up and putting her upright on her feet.

Jesse nodded quickly. “Yes! Santa came!” She exclaimed as if to say _duh_.

As they sipped their coffee and opened presents, Maddie felt a sense of calm wash over her. It was something she hadn’t had in quite a while, but she knew that with regular meetings with her psychiatrist, then her therapist, and having the people around her in her corner, peace would find her in one way or another.

While Jesse was playing with one of her new toys, the group had slowly been falling asleep, curled up where they had slept, or on the couch. “Man, this makes me glad we don’t have to be up at five in the morning anymore.” Maddie groaned, even if it was her idea to wake Jesse up.

“No time for napping, the parental units are here!” Kyle announced as he walked back to the apartment, their parents right behind him.

As if a new wave of energy rushed through the group, they shot up and turned to greet their parents at the door.

“I think we brought enough food to feed all of us for at least a week.” Maya’s father, Levi, chuckled as he set a small stack of dishes on the counter.

Maddie, Amanda, and Jesse were the last to make their way over, trying to pull the small child away from her new toys. “Amanda, this is Levi and Kaitlyn Penley, Maya’s father and step-mother. And Emilia and Henry Coates, her mother and step-father.” Maddie smiled, giving each of them a hug.

“I’m so glad you guys could make it. Where’s Izzy?” She asked.

As if on cue, Maya’s half-sister Isabelle poked her head out from behind her mother. “Right here!” She waved and rushed over to Maddie, wrapping her up in a hug. 

“Oh, hey kiddo! You need to stop growing; you’re almost as tall as I am!” Maddie laughed, placing a hand on top of Isabelle’s head.

Isabelle just laughed and held her hand out towards Amanda. “I’m Isabelle Coates, Maya’s sister, but everyone calls me Izzy. It’s so nice to meet you finally!”

Amanda smiled and shook Isabelle’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you too, I’ve heard a lot about all of you.” She looked back through Maya’s family. 

“Yeah, Maddie here is pretty much our other daughter, she and Maya have been inseparable since kindergarten. Even ended up going to the same University so that they could be together.” Emelia laughed.

Maya rolled her eyes. “Alright you two, carry on.” She gave her parents a gentle shove as she walked over to Isabelle. “C’mon Izzy, you need to see the view from this place.” She smiled. 

“And these are Kyle’s parents, Liam and Hellen Harrison, and Becca’s parents Clark and Lily Gregory, as well as her younger sister Hayley.” Maddie continued through the group of adults, watching as Amanda slipped so easily into conversation with them.

Looking at Jesse, Maddie stooped down and picked her up. “Hey, sweet girl. Do you wanna hang around with me for now?” She asked. “I can introduce you to some of the best people I know.”

Jesse nodded and latched herself to Maddie’s side. “Yes, please mama.” 

Maddie stopped dead in her tracks and looked over at Amanda. “I didn’t… I mean I…” 

Amanda just shook her head. “It’s fine, Maddie. Jesse can call you whatever she likes, and I like her thinking of you as a mom.” She smiled, kissing her gently.

The younger blonde nodded, returning the kiss and blushing a little when she realized how many other people were in the room, people who were being overdramatic either groaning or making gagging noises. 

“I’d use the excuse of mistletoe, but you’re all family, so you have to suck it up.” She laughed.

******

 Sitting around the large dining room table, everyone was talking, laughing and catching up with one another when Maya stood up, tapping her glass.

“I’d like to make a toast to Maddie. Ever since I’ve known you, you’ve been this bright, outspoken and crazy intelligent person. When you were attacked two months ago, we saw that light dim. I was afraid that it would never come back, that I would lose my best friend, my sister. But you found Amanda and Jesse and built your own family with them, and the five of us have been a family for years. Anyways, my point is; Maddie, you are the strongest person I know, and I know for a fact that you are going to make it to the other side of this trial, and you’ll be free. We love you.” She smiled, holding up her glass.

“Here, here!” Everyone chimed in, raising their glasses as well.

Maddie got up from her chair, moving around the table to Maya and hugging her. “Thank you, Maya. For all your support, not just through the trial, but through everything. I love you.” Maddie turned back to her family, her chosen family, sitting around the table.

“And thank you for making this the best Christmas I’ve ever had.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm so sorry for the delay in uploading this chapter. My personal life has been bonkers, and I've been having problems with my USB stick that I finally fixed, so I was able to upload today. I hope that you like this chapter, and I promise the next one will bring back the drama!


	7. God Save the Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Court is back in session, but does it mean that there will be justice for Maddie? Once again, Daniel proves that he will stop at nothing to get what he wants. But this time, Maddie's ready to push back.

Sitting in the courtroom once again, Maddie could feel the panic rushing through her, turning her blood cold.

If there was ever a time she wished her parents could be here for her, it was now. Everything about this situation was messed up, but if her parents were here, maybe she would be able to make sense of it all. 

Not to say that her friends and Amanda didn’t try to help her, but the never-ending ache in Maddie’s heart for her parents only grew stronger the closer they got to the trial.

“Maddie?” Barba’s voice broke her out of her haze. 

Shaking her head, Maddie looked up at him, her blue eyes dull from exhaustion and worry. “Sorry, Mr. Barba, what was the question?” She asked.

Barba nodded. “It’s alright; I asked if you had been attending your therapy sessions and had your psychological evaluation as per Judge Barth’s orders?”

Maddie nodded a few times. “Yes, sir. The psychiatrist I saw put me on a few different medications. One to help me sleep, one to help with my depression, and one for anxiety.” She explained, keeping her eyes focused on him instead of Daniel who’s eyes hadn’t left her since he was ushered into the courtroom.

“And how are you reacting to the medications, Ms. Campbell?” Barba asked, taking a glance over towards Rita and Daniel.

It unnerved him to see Daniel so focused on Maddie, so he made a point of stepping right in his line of sight.

“The doctor said that I was reacting well to the medications, I feel okay, better than I did before.” Maddie gave him a small smile.

Barba returned the smile. “That’s good to hear, Maddie.” He turned towards Judge Barth and nodded. “Nothing further, your Honour.”

When he sat down, Maddie could feel her heartbeat pick up as she looked towards Rita and Daniel. _Breathe. Breathe._

“I’m glad to hear that you’re doing well, Maddie. You look like you’re doing well. I just have a few more questions for you, alright?” Rita looked at the younger woman who nodded a few times. 

Barba leaned back in his chair, watching Maddie as Rita paced the floor. “So, your evaluation went well. Did the psychiatrist ask about what happened the night you were raped?” She asked.

Maddie could feel herself tense as the words hit her ears. 

“Objection your Honour.” Barba started to get up, when Maddie turned to Judge Barth. 

“Wait, I’d… I’d like to answer.” Maddie looked between the judge and Barba, who raised a brow.

Judge Barth nodded once. “Very well, the witness may answer.”

Maddie drew a deep breath, and she could see Amanda bring her folded hands up in front of her mouth as she watched.

“Yes, he did. He asked me how I was doing, if I was sore or if the trauma had driven me to thoughts of self-harm or suicide. He was very concerned about what I was going through, and I’m grateful that he even took the time to ask. Most people have a tendency to blame the victim, but he took the time instead of asking me what I was wearing, or if I had been drinking.” Maddie pointed out, keeping her face and tone as neutral as possible.

Barba couldn’t help the smirk that spread across his face as Rita looked between Maddie and Judge Barth. “Nothing further, your Honour.”

“Alright, we will be taking a short recess, just a reminder to the jury to not discuss the case outside of the courtroom or you will be removed from the jury.” Judge Barth dropped her gavel twice, and Maddie let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding.

Stepping down from the witness stand, Amanda was by her side almost instantly, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend. “I’m so proud of you baby.” She smiled softly.

Maddie rested her forehead against Amanda’s shoulder as she held on tight. “I knew he’d be listening to everything that I had to say. I can’t let him get away with this.”

“And he won’t. You did a wonderful job, Maddie.” Barba smiled as he walked over to them, his briefcase clasped tightly in his hand.

Lifting her head, Maddie kept her arms around Amanda as tight as she could, looking at Barba. “Are you sure you’re not mad at me for answering her question?”

Barba shook his head with a smile. “Of course not, I think it was exactly the right move when it comes to showing both your brother and the jury that something happened to you, and you’re taking big strides towards recovery.”

Maddie smiled a little as the group made their way out of the courtroom. “I just… people always think that when someone goes through a trauma, they just place a Band-Aid over the wound and that’s the end. But it’s not, and the process isn’t anything to be ashamed of. 

Olivia looked to Maddie this time and smiled. “That’s very brave of you, Maddie. And very honourable.” She nodded.

“That reminds me, once all of this is over, I’d like to start funding SVU. When I was with Amanda at the Governor’s Ball, she mentioned that your unit has always had an issue regarding funding. After everything you’ve done for me, I can’t imagine how many other people you’ve helped, and how many more you could help with the proper funding.” Maddie explained.

Olivia’s eyes widened slightly as she looked to the young woman. “Maddie, you don’t have to do that. We will eventually get funding, really that’s not necessary.”

Maddie looked up at Olivia and raised a brow. “Yes, you will eventually get _more_ funding, but I want to help. Once this trial is over and once, we have everything in order, Campbell Worldwide Media will be making a large donation to the Special Victims Unit.” She stated matter-of-factly.

“Liv, it’s best not to argue with her.” Amanda pointed out, sitting with Maddie on a bench across from the courtroom.

The Lieutenant smirked a little. “Yeah, I think I’m starting to get that.”

As a comfortable silence fell over the group, Daniel walked up to them, a prison guard holding each of his arms which were bound in shackles as were his ankles. “Maddie?” He asked. 

Maddie rose to her feet and took a few steps towards him. “Hi, Daniel. How are you?” She asked, very aware of how Olivia was standing almost in front of her, and how Amanda’s hand was resting on her arm.

“I’m okay; my mind is very fuzzy with the medications the doctors have put me on. Where’s Emily? Why isn’t she here?” He asked.

Maddie chanced a glance over at Olivia who nodded. “Emily isn’t coming… Daniel. You don’t remember what happened?” She had a feeling that he did, but it was safer just to play along. 

When he shook his head, Maddie, swallowed the lump in her throat. “She’s dead… Daniel. You’re also being convicted of her murder.” 

Daniel’s face fell, and for just a second, even Olivia wanted to believe him. “Oh my God… I’m so sorry. Maddie, I’m so sorry for everything, I never wanted any of this.” 

Maddie nodded and took a few steps back, allowing Olivia to stand fully in front of her as she started to walk back into the courtroom.

Barba followed behind Maddie and Amanda, making a beeline for Rita once he saw her in the room. “You have got to be kidding me, Rita.”

Rita looked over to Barba and raised a brow. “Well now Barba, you know that I never kid.” She stated simply.

“Did you send Daniel to talk to Maddie? Just like how you delivered that letter for him? How far in his pockets are you?” He asked the questions in rapid succession, only stopping to give her time to answer. 

Rita turned to face him completely, leaning against the table on her side of the courtroom. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize that delivering a letter to a family member was a crime. Or that he wanted to talk to her. Lieutenant Benson and Detective Rollins seemed to have it under control.” She stated simply, the slightest hint of a smirk pulling at her lips.

Without saying another word, Barba walked back to his side of the courtroom.

Watching as Daniel made his way to the stand, the squad and Maddie let out a collective gasp. Amanda took hold of Maddie’s hand as the younger held on with everything she had in her. “He’s gonna get away with this… look at him…” Maddie whispered.

After their encounter in the hallway, Daniel had turned on the waterworks. _I’m going to get them to drop the charges against me by playing the victim card as much as I can_. He thought to himself as he looked at his sister. _And then I’m going to take back what’s mine_.

Rita stood up after Judge Barth had announced that court was back in session. “Mr. Campbell, it is to my understanding that you talked to your sister in the hallway?” She offered up.

Daniel nodded. “I did, I was wondering where my fiancé was and why she wasn’t here. Maddie told me that she was dead. That I had killed her, but I would never hurt her.”

Barba turned his head just enough that he could see Olivia from the corner of his eye as she gave him a nod. “Objection. Your honour, right now we are here for the sexual assault that Daniel committed against my client.”

Judge Barth nodded. “Sustained. Counsellor keep your client in _this_ case. 

“On Christmas day, prison records show that you were rushed to the infirmary. Why is that?” Rita asked, looking over at her client.

“Christmas in my family was always a huge celebration until my father passed away. After that, my mother, Maddie and I were never able to get into the Christmas spirit. It got even worse after my mother died. Maddie would spend the whole day drinking and watching movies, and Emily and I would try and comfort her and get her to stop drinking.” He explained.

Maddie’s jaw dropped as the jury all cast glances at her. “He’s lying.” She whispered, her whole body shaking in anger.

“This was the first year I was without my sister, and my fiancé and I thought maybe if I were no longer on this earth, it would be better for everyone. I managed to procure a shiv and cut open my arms.” He finished. 

Maddie shook her head, her free hand rubbing at the scars she had from her battle with self-harm after her father passed away. “Put me back on the stand.” She whispered to Barba as she slid forward in her seat. 

“Maddie…” He began, his head turned just so. 

“Please? He’s lying and making me look like I get drunk every time I feel sad.” She insisted.

Nodding once, Barba stood up and buttoned his jacket. An action that drew the entire courtroom’s attention.

“Something to object to, Mr. Barba?” Judge Barth asked.

“Your Honour, may we approach?” He asked.

Nodding, Judge Barth waved the guards over and took Daniel back to his side of the courtroom. “Counsellors approach the bench.”

“What is it, Counsellor?” The judge asked as the two lawyers stood in front of her.

“Your Honour, my client wishes to take the stand again.” Barba sated simply. 

Rita scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Why? Because Daniel is telling the truth about his sister?” She asked. “Your honour this is a delaying tactic.”

“Do you know what happened the night that he attacked Maddie? Because you haven’t asked about it.” Barba pointed out.

“I agree with both of you. Mr. Barba, Maddie has already spoken to the courtroom today. And Ms. Calhoun, get to the point.” Judge Barth looked between the two lawyers with an expression neither dared argue with.

“Thank you, your Honour.” The two replied and walked back to their respective sides.

Maddie looked up at Barba who gave a slight shake of his head, watching as tears filled her eyes. “I’m sorry Maddie, my hands are tied.” He apologized.

Nodding, Maddie leaned into Amanda who mouthed a thank you to Barba.

******

After court was let out for the day, Maddie walked outside, standing at the top of the steps and looking all the reporters who were calling for her.

Watching as Rita walked down the stairs and talked to the reporters, Maddie could feel her blood boiling. 

“Maddie…” Amanda and Barba warned.

Heading down the steps, Maddie stood behind Rita, her hands stuffed in her pockets as she regarded the defence attorney. “How much is my brother paying you to lie for him?” She asked. 

“I’m sorry you feel that way Ms. Campbell, but everyone has the right to an attorney, and your brother can afford a rather good one.” She stated.

Maddie rolled her eyes. “With the money that he stole from _my_ company. So, unless Daniel plans on winning the lottery from Ryker’s, I don’t know how you’ll ever get your paycheque.” She shot back, continuing down the steps towards the car.

When Amanda, Barba and Olivia caught up to her, no one said anything for what felt like an eternity. Barba was the one who spoke up first.

“You would have made a hell of an ADA if you weren’t already a billionaire.” He chuckled. “Anyone who stands up to Rita Calhoun like that deserves to automatically pass the bar exam.”

Maddie laughed and shook her head. “Come on Barba; I know you’re just saying that because you don’t want to tell me that I just got myself into a whole lot of trouble.” She pointed out.

Before he could say anything back, there was a series of gunshots from inside the courthouse.

“Barba stay with her. Rollins, let’s go.” Olivia instructed.

Watching them enter the courthouse, Maddie’s heart leapt up into her throat. “I’m not just gonna stand here. Screw that.” She muttered as she followed them.

“Maddie!” Barba called after her. “Dammit.” He mumbled and quickly followed behind her. 

Once inside, it was easy to find the three women given that the whole building had been evacuated. 

One of the guards was dead along with two people from the jury. Daniel was standing in the hall; fun pressed directly to Amanda’s head while Olivia held Maddie back with one arm, her other hand holding the gun to his head.

“Daniel, stop.” Maddie pleaded. “This isn’t going to get you anywhere. You’ve already taken enough from me.”

His twisted laugh filled the empty halls. “ _I’ve_ taken everything from _you_?! I’m rotting away in Ryker’s while you play house with your friends and these cops!” He shouted.

“Because you raped me and left me in the courtyard to freeze to death! Because you raped Emily right before you beat her to death! And because you stole millions from _my_ company and now, you’re holding a gun against an NYPD detective’s head!” She shot back. “Do you want to make me, and the NYPD pay for what’s happened to you? Shoot me. Amanda has a little girl waiting for her at home. She doesn’t deserve to grow up without her mom.” 

As she spoke, she was walking towards her brother, reaching for his hand that was holding the gun. 

“Maddie…” Olivia’s voice reached her ears, but Maddie was quick to ignore it.

Placing her hand on Daniel’s wrist, she brought the gun to her forehead. “Do it, Daniel. You want all your problems to go away? Do you want peace? Then kill me. Because you’ve already ruined my life.”

“Maddie.” It was Amanda’s voice now. “Maddie, don’t do this…” She pleaded as Barba pulled her back towards Olivia. “No! No! Maddie please!”

“I love you, Amanda Rollins. You have been my rock through so much, and I will never forget you. I promise.” She told her, closing her eyes as she accepted her fate.

Letting out a breath, she heard the safety click on the gun.

**_BANG._**  

There was a groaning sound, and Maddie’s eyes flew open. She wasn’t dead. At least she didn’t think she was. When she looked down, she saw Daniel rolling on the ground holding his shoulder.

Stumbling backwards, Barba and Amanda caught Maddie as Fin and Carisi made their way over to the group, Carisi lowering his gun as he did so.

Wrapping Maddie up in her arms, Amanda held onto her as she cried. “I’m sorry, Amanda! I didn’t want him to take you away from me, and I was hoping that… that my brother was still in there, but he wasn’t he’s gone! My brother’s gone!” She sobbed.

Amanda just held on tighter and kissed the side of Maddie’s head. “I know, I know darlin’, but you’re okay. You’re safe, and that’s what matters.” She whispered. 

Looking up at Carisi, the blonde detective smiled, squeezing his arm. “Nice shot partner.” She nodded.

“He’s gonna pay for what he did. All of it. He’ll never see the outside of a prison cell again.” He nodded, looking to Barba.

Barba simply nodded. “He’ll be on trial for every crime separately, but I promise you, Maddie, he will never lay a hand on you ever again.” He rested a hand on Maddie’s back.

With two more Ryker’s guards and two paramedics, Daniel was wheeled out on a stretcher, still groaning in pain as he fought against his restraints.

As the second set of paramedics walked over to Maddie, the young blonde shook her head. “I’m fine; I’m okay. I just want to go home.” She looked between Olivia and Barba and then to Amanda.

“I’ll make sure that she doesn’t go into shock,” Amanda assured the paramedics and pulled her jacket off, draping it over Maddie’s shoulders.

While Amanda led Maddie out of the courthouse, Barba turned to Olivia, placing a hand on her arm. “You okay?” He asked. 

Olivia nodded a little. “No matter how long I’ve worked with SVU, it still blows me away when people like this… when you see people, who are so evil.”

Barba gave her a sympathetic smile. “Go home, Liv. Hug your son. This case has put a lot of stress on everyone, and we deserve a break.”

Taking his hand, she gently pulled him towards the exit. “Only if you’ll come too. Noah would love to see you.”

“Deal.” He agreed as they walked out of the courthouse. 

As they stood at the top of the steps, watching Maddie and Amanda wade through the crowd of reporters and lawyers once again, Olivia let out a breath. 

“God help that girl.” She whispered.


	8. A Solid Place To Land

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the courthouse shooting hangs over the heads of Maddie and the SVU squad, how much longer will Maddie have to wait to see justice for what happened to her? Will she be okay, or is she doomed to a life of one traumatic event after another?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second to last chapter is finally here! I'm gonna be honest with you guys, the writer's block for this was insane, but I finally managed to push through because after the last chapter I have two one-shots and part of the second book ready to go! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and as per usual your endless support and love in this fandom is overwhelming. Thank you so much!
> 
> \- A

Sitting on the couch, wrapped up in her NYU sweatpants a ratty hoodie from her high school, and with at least two blankets on her, Maddie stared absently out the window.

Amanda had just put Jesse to bed after practically prying her out of Maddie’s arms. Walking down the stairs, she looked at her girlfriend, her heart aching for the younger woman.

“Hey, baby.” She whispered, sliding onto the couch next to Maddie. “How are you doing?”

Maddie lifted her gaze to Amanda, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “What did I do? I was willing to let him shoot me in the head. I wasn’t scared.” She whispered. “It scares me because, for just a second, I thought that I was free. Free from his sick and twisted ways.”

Amanda moved closer, wrapping her arms around Maddie and pulling her close. “I just thought that maybe… maybe I could bring him back. Bring back my brother, but he’s not there anymore. And I don’t think he ever was.”

There was nothing that Amanda could say to make Maddie feel better; she knew that. “You proved that you were willing to do what it took for the people that you love, which is more than Daniel can say. He only cares about himself; he made that very clear.”

“But I could have… he could have killed me if he only cared about himself… I should be dead.” She mumbled, resting her head against Amanda’s chest. “I’m glad that I’m not dead. No matter how hard the past few months have been; the greatest thing that happened is sitting right here with me.” Maddie lifted her gaze just so to look at Amanda. “I love you, Amanda Lynne Rollins.” She whispered.

Amanda smiled, her hand resting against Maddie’s cheek. “I love you too, Madeline Elizabeth Campbell.” She returned the sentiment, pressing a gentle kiss to the younger’s forehead.

******

“Mads?” Amanda’s voice broke through the tearful haze that seemed to cloud the younger woman. “Liv and Barba are here to talk to you.”

Nodding, Maddie sat up and looked at the couple standing a few feet from her. “Is this about Daniel?” She asked quietly.

Olivia nodded a little. “We just wanted to make sure that you were alright.”

Maddie scoffed a little, rolling her eyes. “Of course you did.”

“Maddie,” Amanda sighed.

“What? I’m not okay! I was raped and beaten by my brother who then choked me out in court so now I have to see a therapist and take medication so that maybe one day I’ll be able to sleep without seeing his face. Oh, and let’s not forget that he held a gun to the head of the woman I love before I stepped in. Or should we talk about how much easier this would be if I’d froze to death the night he attacked me? Or better yet, if he’d ended up splattering my brains across the halls of the courthouse? Because that’s what I’m thinking about! Everyone would be better off if I were dead!” She shouted, slumping back down on the couch.

Olivia walked over and crouched in front of Maddie. “Sweetie, you know that’s not true. You’re still here because you still have unfinished business. You need to live to see your brother pay for what he did to you. I know that it seems like it’s never going to get better, but you can come back from this. And you will, with help from your friends, with Amanda, with us. You’re not alone, and we’re going to help you out of this.”

Looking up at Olivia, Maddie felt fresh tears slip down her cheeks. “I can’t get him out of my head. I can’t.” She shook her head. “No matter what happens, he won. He got what he wanted. I’m never going to be the same.”

The older woman looked over Maddie’s head towards Amanda and Barba for help, both of them quickly moving around the couch.

Barba spoke up first, “You’re right. You’re not going to be the same. But that doesn’t mean that he won. It means that you were able to survive, it means that you came out on the other side stronger thank you ever thought possible. He’s not going to win because those people saw you, whether they want to admit it or not, they saw what he did to you.”

Amanda took Maddie’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I know that this whole thing has been hard on you and that every time we promise you something, it seems to fall apart, but I don’t want you to give up. You’ve come this far… you can’t back down yet.”

When Barba’s phone rang, he gave the women an apologetic look and stepped onto the balcony to take the call. It was only a moment later that he returned.

“That was Judge Barth. They’re convening the jury first thing tomorrow morning; she decided to expedite the trial after what happened. Maddie, she said you could be there if you want to be, but it’s completely up to you.” He explained, dropping his phone into his pocket.

“If she’s convening the jury, expediting the trial, that means this could all be over tomorrow right?” She asked, looking from Amanda to Barba.

Barba nodded. “It means that this will all be over tomorrow.” Though he couldn’t say for sure, he was almost positive that Daniel would never see the light of day again. “Just try and breathe, remember that no matter what, we’re still here for you.”

Maddie nodded, closing her eyes. “I know that I haven’t been easy, for any of you, especially you, Amanda, but I’m so thankful to have you here.” She smiled, opening her eyes. “And you have both been, so good to me, throughout all of this, I appreciate it.”

Both of them wanted to say that it was their jobs because it was, but with Maddie, it was different. She was family at this point, and they were happy to help her get justice. “Of course, Maddie.” Barba smiled, placing his hand on her upper arm. “Now get some rest, court is at eight o’clock tomorrow morning.”

******

Eight in the morning comes a lot quicker when you don’t fall asleep until three, and need to be up and out of the house by seven to make it to the courthouse on time.

Downing her second cup of coffee, Maddie stared at her now empty travel mug and sighed before locking the lid and putting it in her bag. “’Manda I wanna go back to bed.”

“I told you to take something to help you sleep darling, but you were, and I’m quoting here: “absolutely sure” that you were gonna be able to sleep soon,” Amanda smirked. “Don’t worry, soon we’ll have our verdict, and we’ll be going out for brunch with your… our friends.” Amanda assured her.

Maddie groaned a little, running her hand through her blonde curls. “I know I shouldn’t be complaining about being tired today, but…”

Amanda shook her head. “No. It’s good, Maddie. I’ll explain why later but we have to meet with Liv and Barba.” She took Maddie’s hand and led her up the steps of the courthouse.

With one hallway, where they had all been yesterday, cordoned off, they went towards the opposite stairwell and made their way up to Barba’s office. Knocking on the door, Maddie poked her head in, eyes covered for dramatic effect. “Hey, just making sure that we’re clear to walk in. It’s just Amanda and me here.”

“We’re having coffee, Maddie, you’re safe to come in.” Barba laughed as she uncovered her eyes.

“Well can’t blame me for making sure.” Maddie pointed out, taking a seat across from Olivia. “Do you think this is going to be over today?” She asked, pulling her sleeves down over her hands.

Olivia and Barba shared a look before turning to Maddie. “I do, sweetie. And when it’s over, we’re going out to celebrate. Forlini’s, it’s a great bar just down the street, but Barba’s got this. It’s all gonna work out, Mads.”

Maddie nodded slowly. “Um, I asked my friends to be here… I don’t know if they’ll be allowed in the gallery, but even just knowing they’re here too is helpful, is that okay?”

Barba smiled softly and rose from his seat, doing up his jacket as he walked towards his desk. “Of course that’s okay Maddie, having people on your side is important.” He quickly dropped some files in his briefcase before closing it up. “Now, ladies if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get ready for court. I’ll see you there.” With that, he breezed out of the room, briefcase in hand.

Standing up, Maddie smoothed out her skirt and tights, adjusting her sweater. “Does he always leave a room like he’s Clark Kent about to change into his Superman costume?” She asked.

Amanda and Olivia shared a laugh as they headed out of his office. “That’s a great analogy; I think usually he does. He just kinda blows in and out of rooms like that, at least since we’ve known him.” Olivia shrugged.

As the three of them made their way back towards the courtrooms, Maddie could feel her nerves starting to bubble up in her chest. “Mads, breathe, baby. We’re gonna get through this.”

“I know, it’s just… I can’t believe this is ending today…” She couldn’t help the small smile that crossed her lips.

The beginning of the court session proceeded like usual, after that, there were no statements from either Barba or Rita as the jury made their way into the room. As the forewoman stood up, handing the bailiff their ruling, the room waited with bated breath between the time Judge Barth read it, to the time that the bailiff brought the paper back.

“As the court knows, we are prosecuting Mr. Campbell for not only the rape of his sister, Madeline Campbell, the rape and murder of his fiancé Emily Clairwood, committing fraud, signing multiple cheques through Campbell Worldwide Media not to mention funnelling money into an offshore bank account. Normally we would not ask for all of these sentences to be handed down at once, but in light of what happened yesterday, I believe we all deserve some peace.” Judge Barth looked over to the forewoman. “On the count of money laundering in the first degree, what say you?”

The forewoman looked at Daniel with a straight face. “We find the defendant, guilty, your Honour.”

A small breath was let out from Maddie. At least he’d get time for that, no matter what else would happen.

“And on the charge of rape and murder in the first degree against Emily Clairwood. What say you?” Judge Barth asked.

“We find the defendant, guilty.” She announced.

“And on the final charge, the first-degree rape of Madeline Campbell, what say you?” She looked between the forewoman, to Maddie, to Daniel and back.

Maddie’s heart rate picked up as she gripped Amanda’s hand, the detectives and her friends were all on the edge of their seats as they waited for the other shoe to drop.

“We find the defendant, Daniel Campbell, guilty.” She announced.

The group let out a collective gasp, Maddie’s eyes going wide as she looked over at Barba with a grateful smile.

Daniel, who had his arm in a sling, just hung his head, his one hand running over his neck as the verdicts were delivered.

“The State of New York thanks the jury for their service. Court is adjourned.” Judge Barth dropped her gavel, and immediately the courtroom started to empty.

Maddie however, remained stuck in her seat. “It’s over…” She whispered. This had started in October, and the past five months have been hell, but now, halfway through February, it was over. He was found guilty, and she was free of him.

“It’s over, Mads.” Olivia smiled, her brown eyes filling with tears of joy.

“We’re celebrating tonight, let’s all meet at Forlini’s after shift,” Carisi suggested as the last of the spectators left the room.

Fin looked over at Carisi and raised a brow. “Man, why don’t we just give her a minute to breathe?” He suggested with a small chuckle.

Maddie smiled and wrapped an arm around Carisi’s middle. “It’s fine, Carisi, I’m good to celebrate tonight.” Looking over at her friends. “Which means I’m dragging all of you out tonight too.” She laughed.

Barba walked over and joined the group, standing next to Olivia which made Maddie and Amanda both smirk. “Congratulations Counsellor.” Carisi smiled, one arm slung over Maddie’s shoulders as he held his other hand out towards him.

Shaking Carisi’s hand, Barba smiled. “Please, it was all up to the jury, and after yesterday, they made the right call.”

“They’d be crazy if there were any other rulings.” Fin pointed out. “I’m heading back to the precinct. Carisi, you want a ride?” He asked.

Nodding, Carisi looked down at Maddie. “Congratulations, Mads. We’ll see you tonight.”

Walking over to Maddie, Tyler lifted her and spun her around. “They got him, Mads.” He smiled, setting her down on her feet.

Looking up at him, she smiled. “Thank you guys for being here.” She looked at her friends, giving them hugs. “You guys are everything to me.” She kept one arm around Maya, taking Amanda’s hand in the other. “All of you, I can’t thank you enough.”

Amanda pressed a kiss to the side of her head. “We’re all here for you, baby. That’s not gonna change anytime soon.” She assured her.

While they were talking, Olivia had stepped away to take a call.

“I’d hate to pull you away from this, but Amanda, I need you back at the station. Maddie, I’m sorry we uh… we caught another case.” Olivia explained.

Maddie shook her head. “Don’t apologize, go I’m fine.” She smiled softly.

Olivia hugged her and squeezed her shoulder, stepping aside to let Amanda give Maddie a quick kiss. “I’ll see you tonight.” She whispered as the two left the courtroom.

“Mads, we have that reservation at Sotto Thirteen for brunch, we should get going.” Becca looked up from her phone.

“Yeah, I’ll meet you guys outside, just give me a minute?” She asked looking over at them, making it clear she wanted to talk to Barba before they left.

Nodding, the group left the courtroom, leaving just Barba and Maddie.

Sitting back down, Maddie let out a breath. “I can’t believe it’s over. I don’t… I don’t know if I can thank you properly for everything.” She looked up at him. “You took on my case and kept fighting, even when Daniel started to weave his twisted web.”

Barba sat down next to her, undoing his suit jacket. “Not only is it my job, Maddie, but you’re important to Amanda. The squad and I will deny it if you tell anyone, they’re the closest thing I have to family. Which means you’re family too, Maddie.”

Tears were gathering in her eyes as she listened to Barba, finally spilling over with every emotion she’d had for the past four months. “I just… it’s so hard to wrap my head around the fact that it’s actually… I feel like I can finally breathe.”

“That’s because you can, Maddie.” He assured her. “Now, I believe you have brunch plans, I don’t want to keep your friends waiting.” He smiled, patting her arm.

Nodding, Maddie wiped at her eyes carefully before standing up. “Since Amanda had to go back to the precinct, we have an open spot on our reservation. Would you want to join us?” She asked.

Barba thought about it for a moment before nodding. “That sounds good, Maddie. Thank you.”

******

Brunch and the rest of the day went by quickly. Barba went back to the courthouse after insisting that he pay for brunch and the squad was still hard at work when Maddie picked up Jesse from preschool.

After making a detour to the office, which included a lot of

“Okay sweet girl, you are going to spend some time with Noah and Lucy tonight, so we’re going to pack you a bag okay?” She smiled, kissing the small girls’ cheeks.

Nodding quickly, Jesse grinned and squirmed until Maddie set her down, rushing off to grab the backpack that she typically used for overnights at Olivia’s.

After they got her packed up, she got a text from Amanda saying that they were wrapping up and would be at Forlini’s shortly. That text was followed by a flood of texts given that both the squad and Maddie and her friends were in a group chat now.

Picking up Jesse once again, she grabbed the bag they had packed and headed downstairs, trying to order an Uber from her phone as she went.

Making their way through the lobby, the two said goodnight to Walter and left the building, quickly approaching the Uber that had pulled up right as they left.

“Maddie!” She recognized the voice, turning her head as she held tighter to Jesse, reaching for the door preparing for a quick escape should that be necessary. As happy as she was that Daniel was going to pay for what he did, she didn’t know who else he had working for him.

She was surprised, however, to see Rita walking towards her. Trying to maintain some dignity, she straightened her shoulders. “We’re on our way to dinner, Ms. Calhoun, but what can we do for you?”

“I just wanted to extend my congratulations and my apologies. I should have seen the monster that your brother was when he first hired me to defend him. And you should know that I will not be taking any payment for this case. Instead, I will be making a donation to SVU.” She explained.

Maddie was genuinely taken aback, but she was still skeptical. “I hope you’re not doing this just for pity so that I’ll still end up paying you.” She adjusted Jesse on her hip as she spoke.

“No, it’s not. What he did was unforgivable, and my part in this… I feel awful. I just wanted to apologize. I don’t want to keep your family waiting, have a good night Ms. Campbell.” She smiled.

As she was walking away, Maddie just stared for a moment before climbing into the Uber and buckling Jesse into the car seat.

“Mama, you okay?” She asked as they started towards Olivia’s apartment.

Maddie smiled, brushing a few blonde strands away from her face. “Yeah sweetie, mama’s okay.” She nodded.


	9. Are You Free?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will Maddie do now that her case is over? And after the dust settles is she going to be able to stay in New York, read the final chapter and see!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys! This is the end of book one! Book two is well underway and I hope to be uploading a bit more frequently with this book! I hope you enjoy the final chapter, and I hope you read the second book as well! 
> 
> -A

After dropping Jesse off at Olivia’s, she finally made her way to Forlini’s to meet up with everyone. Getting out of her Uber, she adjusted her hair before going inside.

“There she is!” Carisi hollered from the opposite side of the bar, raising his beer bottle.

The excitement drew everyone’s attention, causing Maddie to laugh and cover her face with her hands. “Oh my God, you’re embarrassing.” She groaned with a laugh, walking over to them.

Greeting them all with a hug, Maddie took the seat next to Amanda, giving her a quick kiss. “Jesse wanted me to tell you that she loves you and that she’s very excited to spend time with Noah and Lucy.” She smiled.

Sliding a beer across the table, Tyler shook his head. “No, I love you guys, but this is a night to celebrate. Please, no work talk, no kid talk, and most importantly, and I cannot stress this enough, just drink.”

Maddie held up her hands. “Fine, Ty, I will concede to it just this once.” She smirked.

Wrapping her arm around Maddie’s waist, Amanda pressed a kiss to her temple. “I’d like to make a toast,” she began, lifting her beer. “To all of you, our family, for being with us through everything and never hesitating to help us when we needed you.” She smiled.

Maddie raised her beer with a grin. “Here, here.” She nodded.

The sound of clinking glasses and bottles filled the small area as everyone took a sip of their drinks.

“So Mads, what are your plans now?” Carisi asked, leaning back in the booth.

Maddie lulled her head from side to side for a moment. “I’m gonna go home…” She admitted.

“Wait, you’re going back to New Orleans?” Maya asked. “For good?”

“No! No, not at all. I’m just going for a little while. New York felt like home for so long, and I’m glad that I have all of you here with me, but after what happened… I need to feel _okay_ with being here and right now, the safest place for me is back in New Orleans.” Maddie explained. “Don’t worry; I wouldn’t leave you, Maya. Or any of you.” She looked around the table before her eyes settled on Amanda. “And I would especially, never leave you.” She smiled.

Amanda smiled, leaning over and kissing Maddie. “Well, that makes me glad to hear.”

Olivia had been watching the younger woman as she sipped her red wine. It was hard to believe that just six months ago they didn’t know her and now, she was a part of their family; as were her friends. “Well, Maddie you know that no matter what, we’re all here for you, whether you’re in New York or New Orleans.” She smiled, setting her glass down.

“Thanks, Liv. For everything throughout my case, for welcoming my friends and I…, it’s not something I could ever repay any of you for.” Maddie looked between the squad members.

“Like it or not, you’re all stuck with us now.” Carisi chuckled, throwing his arms around Kyle and Becca.

Laughter erupted from the group as Maddie leaned into Amanda’s side. “That sounds vaguely threatening detective.” Maddie pointed out.

Carisi simply shrugged. “You can take that whatever way you want…” He admitted.

******

When it was nearly three in the morning, everyone had left the bar, some of them stumbling right into cabs. Maddie and Amanda took the nearly empty street to walk for a bit before hailing a cab, despite the fact it had been raining for nearly four hours.

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” Amanda asked, sliding her hand into Maddie’s. “That you’re not going to New Orleans to run away from all of this?”

Maddie stopped walking, a shiver passing through her as a cold wind blew by. “Amanda Rollins, I promise you that I am not running away from you, or my life here. New York… God this city is amazing, but I need to just be _free_ for a while.” She wasn’t planning on telling Amanda that she was asking Liv if she could spare the detective for a bit longer, to take her down to New Orleans.

The rain had soaked through their jackets and had their clothes clinging to them uncomfortably, but neither of them paid that any mind as they continued to wind their way down the streets.

“I just want you to be safe…” Amanda admitted.

“I know that you always hear stories about New Orleans, but trust me… the safest place I can be aside from being surrounded by some of New York’s finest… is on Bourbon Street.” Maddie assured her, moving some wet hair from her face unceremoniously. “I’m gonna be fine…”

Stretching her hand out to hail a cab, Amanda wrapped an arm securely around her waist. “You’re free now, Maddie.” She smiled, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose.

Maddie smiled, wiping a few stray raindrops from Amanda’s forehead. “I’m free.”

_End of Book One._

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first time doing a full fledged Law & Order: SVU fic, I sincerely hope that you enjoy it and I will be doing my best to update it at least once a week! If you have any ideas please let me know, I'm always open for ways to develop the plot! 
> 
> \- Ash


End file.
